Monday, November 17, 2014

The Week in Football: The Florida Job is Now Open, and New England and Green Bay are the NFL's Elite




On Sunday morning, the brutal, torturing, “oh my gosh, we suck!” Will Muschamp era at Florida mercifully came to an end, as it was announced that he’d step down at the end of the year. At least that’s what you’d think if you were a Gator fan; I was actually disappointed when I heard the news. Florida has been laughably bad on offense in Muschamp’s four years, and things weren’t going to get any better (Muschamp knows as much about offense as Screamin’ A. Smith knows about speaking at an appropriate volume). Just selfishly as a Vol fan, I love when Florida can’t score, find the right quarterback, or recruit any speedy skill position guys; basically, it’s awesome when they remind everyone of what the offense on the worst pee wee football team in the country looks like. Then again, Muschamp did beat Tennessee all four years, so I just want to take this time to thank Derek Dooley, Nathan Peterman, the grass in Gainesville that tore Justin Hunter’s ACL, and yes, Butch Jones (he defiantly stuck by Nathan Peterman for an entire half in 2013 even though he was the worst quarterback in the history of the program!) for allowing the Muschamp-led Gators to go 4-0 against you.


So where does Florida go from here? Obviously, it’s one of the best jobs in the country. They are the premier program in one of the most fertile recruiting areas in the nation. They’re in the SEC, the fans are rabid and care about the team succeeding, and they’ve got millions of dollars to pour into the football program every year. Plenty of people are going to be interested.


Whenever there’s a big job opening, the first two things I always look for in a replacement are as follows….


  1. Was this potential coach an assistant (like an offensive or defensive coordinator) at this school before?
  2. Does this potential coach have any ties to the area? Did he play football at this program, or did he grow up relatively close to where the school is located?


I always feel like former assistants, local guys, or former players are almost always popular hires, because the fans are familiar with them, and the athletic department can always spin it as, “We decided to hire a Florida guy” or “This guy was here when we had a lot of success, and he knows what it takes to win big at this program, because he was here when we did it”.


So who are the big time former Florida assistant coaches? Dan Mullen and Charlie Strong are the first that come to mind. I don’t think Strong would, after just one year at Texas (also a great job), quit and take another position somewhere else. So he’s out. I think Dan Mullen would be a very good hire for the Gators, because he can recruit, he seems to have run a clean program, he has an offensive background, and he’s got MISSISSIPPI STATE at 9-1 (no small feat). The offense thing is going to be really important in all of this. Muschamp got fired BECAUSE his offense sucked; Florida, whenever they’ve been really good, is a program that's been known for having an extremely explosive and devastating offense. Steve Spurrier had the Fun N Gun, and Urban Meyer had his spread attack, spearheaded by Tim Tebow, with weapons all around him like Percy Harvin, Riley Cooper, and Aaron Hernandez, to name a few. That’s the culture down there, and Muschamp never quite fit.


But back to Mullen; I don’t think he’ll get the job for the simple fact that he and Florida AD Jeremy Foley apparently have some sort of unexplained rift between them. I have no idea what it is, but I’ve heard that a bunch of different times, and read it in multiple places. So he’s probably out as well. Plus, ESPN reported today that both he and Rich Rodriguez will not be considered for the opening. In terms of guys that played at the school, or have direct ties to the area, I don’t see any, or any that are real serious possibilities. So where do the Gators go from here?


To me, two names stand out, though they might be unrealistic; Art Briles and Bob Stoops. Briles is an offensive genius (again, really important), and he’s built Baylor from a laughingstock into one of the best programs in the country. Then again, Briles is a Texan, through and through, a guy who’s spent 99.9% of his life in Texas (he’s probably spent as many days outside the state of Texas in his life as Kim Kardashian has spent working). I can’t really see him leaving Baylor for a job outside the state. And then we come to Stoops, who should be linked to every major college job from now until he retires. He’s headed for a 9-3 season at Oklahoma, and apparently the Sooner fans are growing dissatisfied with his consistent excellence every season. I’d love it if Tennessee could hire a football coach that would go 167-42, win a national title, and win 8 conference championships in 16 years. I know, that sucks right? Plus, he has SEC ties, as he’s was Florida’s defensive coordinator from 1996-98. And yes, Stoops does have an defensive background, but it’s not like he is clueless on the offensive end. They’ve scored a bunch of points since he’s been there. He’s a smart guy, and I think he’d be able to figure it out. Plus, there’s no question he’d be a huge slam dunk hire for them with the fans. Could the growing (and confusing) frustration by the Sooner fans, in addition to the wide open SEC East, and the challenge of coaching in the nation’s best conference, at one of the best jobs in the country, convince Stoops to jump ship and go to Florida? I’d say it’s a long shot, just because you almost always hear big time coaches being linked to big time jobs, though it almost never happens (Urban Meyer to Ohio State is an exception, not the rule. Most of the time you end up hiring Brady Hoke or Charlie Strong, solid coaches at the time, but not guys who have won a national championship as a head coach).


In terms of other potential guys, I think Mike Gundy at Oklahoma State (who gave us the best coach rant ever), Gary Patterson, and Hugh Freeze could all be possibilities. Plus, why not throw in these three controversial names: Bobby Petrino, Todd Graham, and…. Lane Kiffin? Of the three, I think Graham is the most realistic, because he really hasn’t failed miserably anywhere yet, and proved he shouldn’t be a head coach at a big time program ever again (like Kiffin did at USC), and he never had his mistress on the payroll (like Petrino). He just texted his director of football operations at Pittsburgh to tell the players that he was leaving AFTER ONE YEAR, rather than having a meeting with them, which is customary, and what you would do if you actually cared about the players as men. If Foley is smart, he won’t interview any of these guys. But stranger things have happened. Regardless of what happens, it’ll be an interesting winter down in Gainesville.


Are you kidding me Auburn?


The most puzzling result of the weekend was Auburn’s absolute crazy and unexplainable collapse in Georgia. 34-7? What? Nick Marshall was surprisingly bad (11-23, 112 yards passing, 41 yards rushing), and Georgia absolutely ran over, through, and around them the entire game to the tune of 289 rushing yards in Todd Gurley’s return, though he also suffered a devastating torn ACL late in the game (hopefully this won’t ruin his NFL future). This game just confirmed everything I’d been saying about Auburn all year; they were an overrated team who got way too much credit for a road win at K-State (because the Wildcats badly outplayed them the whole night) and a home domination of LSU, who was starting a freshman quarterback for the first time on the road. Their defense is terrible, and they don’t seem to have quite the same offensive firepower they did last year (besides the LSU game, I haven’t said “Wow, those guys are just executing on a higher level than anyone else” the entire season, like I did almost every week last year). Good luck traveling to Tuscaloosa for the Iron Bowl the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Could the vaunted Auburn Tigers really go 4-4 in conference this season? It’s in play.


Why isn’t Melvin Gordon the Heisman favorite?


The Badgers’ tailback rushed for 408 yards, a new NCAA record for yards in a game, on 25 carries (that’s 16.3 yards per rush!) and 4 TDs on Saturday, bringing him to a season total of 1909 yards and 23 TDs. He has four games over 200 yards rushing this year, and had by far the most impressive single game performance of anyone this season. I know guys like Dak Prescott and Marcus Mariota have had great years, but just looking at the numbers, has anyone been better than Gordon this season? Is it because he plays for a two-loss Wisconsin team that’s in a bad conference? Is it because his team isn’t a national title contender? Should team success even matter for Heisman voting? I thought the award was supposed to honor the best player in college football each season, not a really good player on a really good team. And if it does honor the best player in college football each season, than who out there has been better than Gordon?


Tennessee DOMINATED on Saturday


I’m not going to rail about not how infuriating it is that Josh Dobbs wasn’t starting at the beginning of the season again this week, because I’ve done that enough. Sheesh. The Vols absolutely dominated Kentucky on Saturday in all facets of the game, and with their 50-16 win, the Vols have scored 95 points in back-to-back SEC games (they had 45 against South Carolina two weeks ago), their most since 2003. They now just need to win one of their final two games (home against Missouri, at Vanderbilt) to be bowl eligible. I’m fairly confident they’ll be able to make it happen, particularly with Dobbs in there. And as excited as I am about Dobbs’ emergence, and the impressive play of the team as a whole late in the year, I’ll always look back on 2014 as a lost season. The SEC East was there to be won! It was wide open! I just need to move on before I turn into my Angry Old Man and start screaming and gargling about a bunch of nothing. It’s in my genes, and I’ll have to spend my whole life fighting it off.


My 4 Team Playoff


  1. Alabama. The Tide established themselves as the best team in the country with their close 25-20 victory over Mississippi State on Saturday, mostly on the back of their defense. Dak Prescott was picked off three times, and they held the high scoring Bulldog offense in check for most of the day (MSU only scored 3 points in the first half). And like last week at LSU, when ‘Bama needed a big drive from their offense, Blake Sims and that unit delivered a touchdown drive that saw Sims convert two third and long plays with his legs. He wasn’t great all day (19-31, 211 yards, 1 passing TD), but he was smart, and didn’t turn the ball over, which is pretty much what Greg McElroy and A.J. McCarron were asked to do every week when they quarterbacked the Tide. This Alabama team is reminiscent of pretty much every Alabama team since Saban arrived there; they play great defense, don’t turn the ball over, and get a few big plays a game from their quarterback or skill position guys. I expect them to defeat Auburn in Tuscaloosa in two weeks, and win the SEC title a week after that. It’s ludicrous that they weren’t in the 4 team playoff last week; I think it’s safe to say they will be this week.
  2. Oregon. I wrote last week that I think this is the best Ducks’ team since the one that lost to Auburn in the BCS Title Game, and I still believe that. The committee might even rank Oregon first this week.
  3. Mississippi State. The Bulldogs still belong in the four team playoff despite their loss on Saturday. They did out-gain Alabama 428 to 335, they have wins over Auburn, Texas A&M, and at LSU, and they’re 9-1 in the best conference in the country. Ole Miss was horrible at LSU when they lost their first game, and they didn’t drop out of the 4 team playoff. MSU wasn’t awful on Saturday, Alabama’s just a better team right now playing at home. Should they drop out because of that? No, of course not.
  4. Florida State. I’d love to drop the ‘Noles out of my playoff, and banish them to The Shadow Realm (that’s a joke for like five of you), particularly after another crappy performance on Saturday night at Miami. But, like always, FSU miraculously found a way to gut it out, come back, and win. It’s been the same story with this team every week. I guess it shows me something about their character as a team, because they’ve won every close game they’ve been in, but is really all that impressive to have to come from behind, or struggle every week with the likes of N.C. State, Virginia, and Louisville? That’s not a rhetorical question, because it’s not. Still, they are undefeated in a power conference, and there’s no way the committee will drop them out of the playoff because of that.


I’d have Baylor 5th, TCU 6th, and Ohio State 7th. I’d also like to take a moment to thank the Horned Frogs for showing us how ludicrous it was that they’d be in the playoff over Alabama. There’s no way the Crimson Tide would struggle on the road at Kansas, maybe the worst power conference team in the country, and escape with just a 4 point victory like TCU did. Nice job playoff selection committee.


Now, onto the NFL…..


Green Bay and New England are the NFL’s two best teams (right now)


I ran through the scores of all the Patriots’ games since their embarrassing loss on Monday Night to the Chiefs on September 29th (they’ve won every game by double digits with the exception of a Thursday game against the Jets). Last night looked like almost every Pats’ game over the last month and a half, as New England opened it up in the second half and won 42-20. And it shouldn’t have even been that close, as Brady threw one of the worst interceptions I’ve ever seen him throw near the end of the first half that gave the Colts a short field. I’m actually not surprised the Patriots have played this well, as it seems like they do something like this every year. All I really care about is what happens in the playoffs with them, and I, like every year, don’t think they can win a Super Bowl with the weapons they have, and I’ll stick to that until they actually do it. So congrats on the impressive regular season, once again. We’ll see if they can put it together for a magical run in the playoffs.


Green Bay has also been really impressive since Week 3 and Aaron Rodgers’ now famous "R-E-L-A-X" (excluding that puzzling loss on Sunday night in New Orleans Week 8), as they’ve gone 6-1 since then. I love what they’re doing with Clay Matthews (he’s playing inside linebacker a lot more, which has helped their run defense so much), and Aaron Rodgers should be the NFL MVP. They jumped all over Philly yesterday, and it almost felt like that game was over before it started. Of the two teams, I actually think the Packers have a much better shot to win the Super Bowl. They’ve got better skill position players, the best pass rusher (New England has some athletes that can get after the QB, but they don’t have a Clay Matthews-type guy), and they’ve got the best quarterback in the NFL in Rodgers. Plus, how good is the NFC at the top? Arizona could finish with best record in the NFC, and they start Drew Stanton at quarterback. Do you trust Stanton in a big playoff game? I certainly don’t. The other NFC contenders all have legitimate questions; Detroit (for the last 50 years) and Dallas (since 1997) have found multiple ways over the years to come up smaller than a Christmas Elf and break their fan base’s hearts. The NFC South is terrible (has there ever been a worse division leader in the history of the NFL after 10 games than the 4-6 Falcons? They’re one of the worst 10 teams in the league, and are 0-6 against teams outside their division), and the Eagles might not be good enough at quarterback or on defense to make any real noise in the playoffs. The Seahawks seem to have lost their home field aura of invincibility, and they can’t stop the run (Jamal Charles ran all over them yesterday, as he finished with 159 yards on just 20 carries). And then there’s the Niners, who start Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde at quarterback, and just lost Patrick Willis, the best middle linebacker in football, for the rest of the season. At least right now, the Pack have to be the favorites in the NFC.


Lights out


Texans’ defensive end J.J. Watt might just be the best player in the NFL. So far this season, he has 9 sacks, 4 fumble recoveries, two forced fumbles, 1 interception, 2 receiving touchdowns, 1 interception return touchdown, and 1 fumble return touchdown. In fact, he’s scored more touchdowns this year than Calvin Johnson and Larry Fitzgerald, only two definite Hall of Famers. I’m not sure there’s a more consistently dominant defensive force week in and week out than Watt. No one makes more plays on the side of the ball than him. He might have the best motor in the NFL, he never takes a play off, and it always seems like he’s around the ball. And I like how down to earth and unassuming the guy is, as he actually Googled “What do rich people buy” after signing his 100 million dollar deal with Houston. He’s the best defensive player in the league, and he’s definitely the type of guy you’d want to invest in (he’s an extremely hard worker, does what he needs to, doesn’t get in trouble off the field, etc.). But for all the great things he does, his team is 5-5. Let me ask you this: If you switched Aaron Rodgers and J.J. Watt, Tom Brady and J.J. Watt, Peyton Manning and J.J. Watt, or any other great QB and Watt, would the Texans still be 5-5? There’s no way right? They’d be at least 7-3. So as great as Watt is, I’m not sure they should feel good about 100 million for a guy that can really only effect the game in a few ways, and doesn’t directly impact what his team does on every play, like the quarterback does. The only person in sports that I’d give that amount of money to is a great QB or a superstar NBA player. Watt’s great, but he’s not worth it.


In a shocking development, my Angry Old Man wasn’t mad this week, because his favorite television show ever, the 1960’s Batman with Adam West, is finally out on DVD. He wept tears of joy as he proclaimed, “This is the happiest day of my life, even happier than the day you were born,  when I realized you were going to be a burden on my daily well-being for the next 18 years”. However, there’s no way he’ll be able to stay that happy for long. Something or somebody we’ll disappoint him over the next week (in fact, it’s probably already happened as I’m writing this sentence), and he’ll be sure to call me up and yell at me for 15 minutes before violently hanging up the phone. It is what it is. A Zebra doesn’t change its stripes.


So enjoy Monday Night Football this evening, you deserve it.

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