Week 12 College Football Picks: Make Me The SEC Scheduling Czar

Tomorrow’s college football slate is one of the most pitiful I’ve ever seen. It’s so bad that Cincinnati at UCF is the ABC Saturday Night Game, and while I love Tennessee, the fact that CBS had to choose the 5-5 Vols against 6-4 Missouri as their SEC Game of the Week should tell you everything you need to know about the matchups tomorrow.

Why has this happened? Partly because many of the schools around the country play their big rivalry games next weekend, and use tomorrow as basically a de facto bye week in order to get ready for those contests, which, for the record, sucks. The SEC is particularly bad about this. Alabama plays The Citadel, Auburn hosts Liberty, Georgia has UMass in Athens, LSU gets Rice in Tiger Stadium…. I mean, really? I promise you I don’t want to watch a minute of any those games. 

The SEC has for years punted on this weekend, and their outright refusal to play anything more than 8 conference games (while the Big Ten, Big 12 and Pac 12 all play 9) is complete crap. There’s not a person alive who wants to watch Georgia smack UMass by 50 tomorrow.

Yes, I realize the ACC plays only eight conference games as well, but I’m going to focus on the SEC today because that’s my league and that’s what most of you care about. But everything I’m about to say about the SEC applies to the ACC as well.

At SEC media days back in the summer, conference commissioner Greg Sankey talked a lot about this issue. I decided to deconstruct his answers. Here are some of his quotes in bold:

“Following a year-long review back in 2014 of quite literally every possible scheduling option available, the 6-1-1 model was the clear preference of the SEC’s member institutions”

Ok, so what? Remember back in 2016 when the LSU-Florida game had to be cancelled due to weather, and they were going to let the schools figure out when to reschedule it? And the schools decided they just weren’t going to make up the game, so the conference had to step in and mandate that they play it? You didn’t seem to care about the “clear preference” of the schools then, so why would you care about it in this instance?

Then he just gets disingenuous here:

“As a conference, we’ve led the nation in football attendance for 19 years”

Well no s--- Sherlock, why do you think that is? College football is like crack to southern fans, they can’t get enough of it. But does that mean they’re jazzed up about The Citadel-‘Bama this weekend? Hell no. Just because you have your fanbase happy right now doesn’t mean you couldn’t be doing things to make them happier. You know what would what make me happy as a Tennessee fan? If the Vols didn’t have to wait until like 2028 to make a return trip to Texas A&M. With eight conference games and one permanent opponent from the other division, it takes Tennessee a full six years to cycle through the entire conference, and twelve years to play a home and home with everyone in the league. But hell, at least they get that matchup with some crap like UTEP every year!

“We are the only conference to have at least ten teams qualify for Bowl games for four consecutive seasons, which started in 2013 and extended through 2016. And last year, we had nine Bowl eligible teams”

Hmmm, why do we think that is? Maybe it’s partly because each SEC team gets an extra cupcake game every season? Don’t get me wrong, I think the SEC is the best league in America, but come on, it’s going to be easier to qualify for a bowl game when a potential more difficult conference game is replaced by someone like Roast Beef Tech every season. Sure, the SEC has mandated in recent years that every SEC team play at least one out of conference game against a Power 5 opponent, but even that still leaves three games against bogus competition every season.

Ohio State played Oregon State this season at home. Yeah, admittedly, that’s a pretty terrible team, but at least it’s a Power 5 opponent, and the funny thing is that it was the second most difficult out of conference opponent the Buckeyes played (they also played TCU in Dallas, which was basically a road game) and yet, it was somehow still better than any out of conference opponent Alabama played this season (Louisville is atrocious). You start comparing the Alabama schedule to the Ohio State schedule and it’s really embarrassing. Hell, you compare it to the Michigan schedule and you get the same results. Again, I think the SEC is the best league year to year in college football, but let’s not act like they don’t do everything they can to manipulate the schedule in their favor under the guise of “we’re the SEC, we already play a tough schedule, so give us a break here”. Ohio State has 11 games on their 2018 schedule against Power 5 opponents, Michigan has 10, Texas has 11, Oklahoma has 10, Washington has 10, Notre Dame has 10... Hell, I could go on and on here. Meanwhile, basically every SEC team only plays 9 games against such foes, including Alabama and Georgia, who just happen to be the only two teams left in playoff contention from that conference.

“We look at all scheduling information. We review national trends. And we analyze the work of the College Football Playoff Selection Committee. The results our athletics directors review are shared with presidents and chancellors and discussed in that group”

And what have they seen? That since the implementation of the playoff in 2014, every conference champion from a league that plays only 8 conference games has made the playoff every single time. They’re 10-0. The Big Ten added a ninth conference game in 2016, and since then, neither one of their league champions have made the playoff. Neither have four other conference champions from 9 game leagues. These SEC people aren’t stupid, they know these numbers, and it’s part of the reason they aren’t going to change it. Let’s just be honest here, it’s significantly easier to finish with one or no losses when your league schedule is eight games instead of nine. It's just one less legitimate opponent you have to worry about beating. The SEC isn’t going to change any of that, the fans be damned.

Which is why Greg Sankey needs to name me the scheduling czar of the SEC and let me fix all of these issues.

Here’s what I’d do.

• Everyone has to play nine conference games. You’d have your six division games, one permanent opponent from the other division, and a rotating pair of games against two teams from the other division. You’d play a home and home with the rotating teams and they’d come off the schedule once you completed it. But I’d also stagger the years so you’d get a new conference opponent on the schedule every season. So for example, Tennessee would play all six of the teams in their division (Florida, Georgia, Missouri, Vanderbilt, Kentucky, South Carolina), their permanent opponent from the SEC West (Alabama) and a home and home with two other teams from SEC West (let’s say Auburn and Arkansas). Since they were at Auburn this season, let’s have them host the Tigers and go to Arkansas in 2019. Then the Tigers would rotate off the schedule in 2020 and be replaced by Ole Miss or someone like that, while Arkansas would come to Knoxville. Isn’t that much better than the Vols playing a meaningless game against Charlotte?
• No one can play a non-conference game against a non-Power 5 opponent after the month of October. So Georgia-Georgia Tech and Florida-FSU can stay, but I wouldn’t let UF play Idaho in November ever again. That way the SEC teams can’t load up on crap this weekend every season and give the fans almost nothing to look forward to.
• I’d also keep the mandate that each SEC team plays at least one game against a Power 5 opponent, but I’d also include a provision that each and every team in the league can’t go more than five years without playing an out of conference true road game. Did you know Alabama hasn’t played an out of conference road game since 2011? That sucks. I get it, sure, sometimes a neutral site is an appropriate venue, but it can’t be the only thing you ever do. Schedule a home and home with a legitimate opponent every once in a while.
• I’d also ban the SEC schools from playing any FCS opponents. It’s not Tennessee’s problem that Dishwasher State can’t support their football program every season unless they get written a big check to come to an SEC stadium and get blown out by 100. So they’d at least have to fill the other two slots on your schedule with Group of Five teams.

Hell, if I’m going to be the SEC Scheduling Czar, you might as well make me the Czar of all of college football scheduling. No more cupcakes boys! Sorry ACC, but it’s time to get your act together as well! We’ll make these rules universal, and I swear it’ll make all of college football better and more exciting.

Now, onto the “games”…..

Missouri at Tennessee

Fresh off a beat down of Kentucky, the Vols need to win only one of their final two games to become bowl eligible. I’d be completely comfortable picking Tennessee if I knew which team I was getting tomorrow; the Vols biggest problem is that they're inconsistent half to half and possession to possession. Sometimes they run block well, and sometimes the offensive line plays like their arms are made entirely of glass. So I don’t know. The Tiger offense led by Drew Lock isn’t going to roll over like UK did last week, and I’m still concerned about those freshmen Vol corners who have gotten beat down the field a lot this season by quarterbacks with legitimate arms. And Jarrett Guarantano takes so many hits that I’m surprised he hasn’t been decapitated yet… Geez.

I think every time I’ve picked Tennessee in a conference game they’ve lost… so that means I should take Missouri? Reverse jinx?

Prediction: Missouri

#9 West Virginia at Oklahoma State

This looked like a fantastic game all the way back in August, before it was revealed that Oklahoma State might be the worst defensive team ever put together. The Cowboys have given up more than 30 points in every conference game except one (Kansas, where they gave up 28), and they got torched for 702 yards of total offense by Oklahoma last week. The WVU defense isn’t much better either, and this has all the makings of another pillow fight Big 12 game where we look at the game 5 minutes in and it’s already 14-14. I guess I’ll take West Virginia to win another shootout and set up a huge game for themselves at home against OU next week?

Prediction: West Virginia

#16 Iowa State at #15 Texas

One of the games of the weekend is found only on….. The Longhorn Network! The network that no one watches that’s costing ESPN $295 million over the next twenty years! Do you have the Longhorn Network in your cable/streaming subscription? Neither do I!

I’m starved for a quality college game this weekend…. There’s no way this game couldn’t be on ESPN? It has to be on a crappy, failed TV network that no one has or watches? What the hell? I’m taking Iowa State here solely out of spite. Yeah! That’ll show ‘em!

Prediction: Iowa State

#24 Cincinnati at #11 UCF

You know what’s not getting me to the TV? Central Florida. UCF has by far handled their rise as a mid major the worst out of anyone, because even when Boise State had their run last decade, they never pranced around proclaiming themselves national champions, only that they wanted a chance to compete with the big boys. 

What’s UCF’s best win this season? Pittsburgh? Come on guys, you’re a good program, but let’s not act like you wouldn’t get blasted by three touchdowns by any of the top ten teams on a neutral field in a playoff setting. I’m sure they’ll beat Cincinnati tomorrow. Great. Who cares? Enjoy your run, but this isn't one of the best teams in the country here. You beat a four loss Auburn team last year and then declared yourself national champions. Wow. Congrats bro.

If they played Alabama tomorrow what do you think the score would be? What about if they played Clemson? Michigan? Notre Dame? How would they stop Oklahoma? They’d get destroyed. So stop.

Prediction: UCF

#3 Notre Dame vs #12 Syracuse (in Yankee Stadium)

The game of the weekend. I was so tempted to pick the ‘Cuse and Dinosaur Dino Babers here, and probably would’ve done it if Irish QB Ian Book weren’t playing, but since he’s back from injury now with no limitations according to Brian Kelly, I think Notre Dame goes in there and wins by ten points, putting only a victory against a crappy USC team between them and the playoff.

Enjoy football this weekend! Or, at least whatever quality football you can find.