Another week, another
Tennessee meltdown. And I’m not even talking about this weekend's Georgia game yet.
Let’s start with the
Jeremy Banks situation, a really bad look for everyone involved. Banks’s
problems are obvious; he’s had multiple run-ins with law enforcement, and he actually told police
during the encounter that, “Where I’m from, we shoot at cops.” Terrible, obviously.
This is a minor point,
but why Banks chose to call Jeremy Pruitt first during his police encounter is a bit weird to me. Is it
common practice for the head football coach to get a phone call from an
arrested player at 3:30 in the morning? Did Banks think that calling the
football coach would get him out of it?
Regardless, Pruitt’s
bungling of the situation here is strange too. He argues with the officers
about the arrest, telling them at one point that “this is the silliest s&*% I’ve
ever seen in my life” and, “I’ve got it. I understand. I’ve worked at four places,
and I ain’t ever had no crap like this except for here,” and seems confused
that the police would have to arrest Banks because he has a warrant. Then he mentions that Banks’s grandfather had passed away as an excuse for him to not know that he was supposed to show up for a
court appearance, since “some of these kids, they don’t have nobody at home to teach
them how to do stuff, and so if something happens people notify so you can
teach them how to do it.” I’m sorry, but I’m pretty sure every college-aged person
knows that it’s not a good idea, hell, even illegal, to skip a court appearance,
and pretending like they don’t know that is kind of insulting to not only Banks’s
intelligence, but everyone who heard Pruitt’s explanation.
Now granted, this call
did happen early in the morning, meaning there’s a pretty good chance
that Pruitt was actually awoken by this phone call. I doubt many of us are at
our most articulate or most reasonable at 3:30 in the morning. Which comes back
to my original point; why the hell is Banks calling Pruitt that early? Have the
players been instructed to do this? Is this common practice? Is this a ploy
implemented by coaches everywhere in an attempt to intimidate the local cops into bending to the coach's will? How many of us would dial up our bosses if we were in the back of
a police car at 3:30 in the morning and were given a phone call? None of us,
right?
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The other big piece of
news around the program this week has to do with the rumors that Phillip Fulmer
would be interested in coaching again, specifically at Tennessee, as reported
by multiple people, including ESPN’s Adam Rittenburg on Monday. Fulmer “shot
down” those rumors on Wednesday, saying, “We’ve got a good football coach, and
I believe in Jeremy Pruitt totally… I have no interest in coaching again and
would rather spend that time being a grandfather and doing whatever I can as
athletic director in helping Jeremy get this program where we all want it to
be. Any talk of me coaching again is just a bunch of rumors.”
Number 1, Phillip, are you
sure we have a good football coach? Do we even have an average football coach? Is
Fulmer asleep during games? Or did he get his VCR tapes of the ’98 team mixed
up with game footage from this year’s squad? Hey Phillip, if you’re watching
film and you see an overweight guy in the sidelines who actually looks like he’s
in charge, that’s you! If Tennessee has the lead, you’re probably watching the
wrong tape!
Number 2, what’s Fulmer
supposed to say, that the program is screwed and Jeremy Pruitt should go back
to teaching kindergarten? Or, should he say, “Yeah, you know, Jeremy better not
get his ass beat by 40 this weekend or so help me god I’m going to frame him
for murder. You guys already know I’m smooth behind the scenes; otherwise I wouldn’t
have been able to assassinate the careers of both Johnny Majors and John Currie.
Plus, I think I could get everyone to believe Jeremy is a killer since he’s
already murdered Tennessee football.”
Of course he’s going to
support him publicly! Otherwise he has to admit that the biggest hire
of his early tenure as athletic director is already a massive failure, which
would make Fulmer, in part, a failure. No athletic director in the history of
college sports is ever going to openly criticize the performance of his
struggling head coach, particularly when that guy is still employed by the school. It would be like a parent at a parent-teacher conference
saying, “Yeah, my kid really is a little asshole isn’t he?” So I take nothing from
Fulmer’s statement.
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As far as Saturday
against Georgia is concerned… I mean, do we have to? It’s going to be ugly for
three and half hours and most of the stadium will probably be empty by halftime. The
Bulldogs opened as 21 point favorites and the betting public hammered the hell
out of the ‘Dawgs so much that the line has moved up to 24.5 points. I don’t give
out gambling advice here normally because I don’t want costing the readers
money to be on my conscience, but last week I did tell everyone to bet the mortgage
on the Ohio State -17 at Nebraska. That one was never in doubt, and this one won't be either. You can bet the mortgage on the ‘Dawgs and be planning that tropical
vacation for you and your family by midway through the second quarter when Georgia
is up 35-0 and the Vols have already rolled over.
I want to hear the
argument for Tennessee not losing by four touchdowns. Here are some, I guess?
“But Matt But Matt But
Matt, it’s a Tennessee home game!” The last time Georgia was in Neyland, they
won 41-0 and gave the Vols their biggest home loss in school history.
“But Matt But Matt But Matt,
Tennessee is coming off a bye week! They’ll have extra time for preparation!” You
know who else had a bye last week? Georgia. Not that they needed an extra week
to prepare for whatever Tennessee will have for them, but still, they got it. Plus,
are we sure Pruitt is better with extra time to prepare? They had almost nine
months to get ready for Georgia State and that ended up being one of the worst
losses in school history.
“But Matt But Matt But
Matt, Jeremy Pruitt said the Vols were 100 times better now than they were last
year!” Are we sure Jeremy didn’t get ahold of Fulmer’s ’98 Tennessee football tapes?
Maybe he went to watch film at 3:30 in the morning after Jeremy Banks called
him and got confused and put the wrong one in. When you lose to Georgia State
as the Tennessee coach, I guess anything is possible. Wait a second, let me
help Jeremy out for a second… Hey coach, if the guy on the sidelines is overweight and looks like he’s totally in control of the program and definitely seems like he belongs there, then that’s not you! You’ve got the wrong film in.
Sorry for the confusion.
Georgia hosts an average
Kentucky team next week, meaning there’s not really a chance they’re looking
ahead for that one and aren’t aptly prepared for Saturday. I think Tennessee’s only
chance would be if the Georgia bus got hit by a meteor the second it pulled up
to Neyland. Otherwise it’s pointless.
If anyone can think of an
argument for Tennessee I’d love to hear it. Saturday is going to be a slaughter,
and it will only create more uncertainty for Pruitt going forward, as the Vols
veer towards their worst season in school history. I guess there is no rock
bottom for this program.
Now, onto the Week 6 college
picks….
#14 Iowa at #19 Michigan
How hot is Jim Harbaugh’s
seat exactly? It seems like almost all of the national media has bailed on him,
but is this a Barry Bonds situation where everyone outside of San Francisco abhorred
him while everyone in the city was fiercely loyal to him? Is he still the favored son?
Of course, the $12
million they owe him if he were to be fired may keep them from doing that at
this point. The Wolverines are all in on Harbaugh, at least for two more years
after this (his contract expires after the 2021 season). Michigan hitched
themselves to Harbaugh, for better or worse. Their AD said he wants him to retire
a Wolverine, and they even pay the premiums on his life insurance policy.
Because of this, I think
anyone that says Saturday is a must-win for Harbaugh is wrong, because it’s not
like the school is giving him his walking papers as he’s coming off the field.
It’s definitely not a must-win for his national perception either, because that’s
already shot. Maybe he can score some points with the alums, but probably not since this is Iowa and not Ohio State.
Iowa ranks fifth best in
yards allowed per game in the country this season, and I’m imagining that they’ll
have a field day against Michigan’s crappy offense tomorrow.
How is it possible that
Harbaugh hired his new offensive coordinator, Josh Gattis, without having a face
to face interview? Reportedly, they only talked on the phone before he got the job. What? This is looking like the worst coordinator hire in a pivotal year for
a coach since Sal Sunseri.
I expect Michigan to
struggle to move the ball and Iowa to win ugly, probably by a score of 13-10 or
something like that.
Prediction: Iowa
#7 Auburn at #10 Florida
The game of the day, at
least on paper.
Auburn has spent the last
week hearing from the national media how great they are after their dominant
performances back-to-back weeks against Texas A&M and Mississippi State. It’s
going to be strange to look back on this team when we get to the end of the
year and they have three losses.
Meanwhile, there’s
Florida, who is the most over-ranked team in the country. Florida beat the hell
out of Tennessee, but hasn’t looked overly impressive against anyone else,
including in their narrow wins over Miami and Kentucky. Quarterback Kyle Trask is…
fine? Ok? This Auburn defense will be the best he’s played all year by far.
Plus, let’s be honest, Florida doesn’t have elite skill position guys.
Auburn’s quarterback Bo
Nix has been incredible, especially considering the fact that he’s a true
freshman, and he hasn’t seem intimidated by any of the environments he’s been in,
including trailing late on a neutral field against Oregon, or at Texas A&M
in the notoriously loud Kyle Field. There’s no way he’s going to shrink in The
Swamp. He’s not a Tennessee quarterback, after all.
I think Auburn rolls into
Gainesville and wins by double digits and positions themselves for an undefeated
showdown at LSU on October 26.
Prediction: Auburn
#25 Michigan State at #4
Ohio State
I wrote on Monday that the
Buckeyes are the best team in the country, and they’ll have another opportunity
to prove that on Saturday night when they host the at times
offensively-challenged Spartans.
Ohio State has outscored their
opponents 262-43 this season, or by 219 points. They haven’t been seriously
challenged by anyone, and while Saturday is on paper their toughest game of the
season, I expect it to go about the same way as the Nebraska game last week. Maybe
it won’t be 48-7, but I don’t expect Michigan State to come in there and be
able to seriously challenge them. If Ohio State has a lapse, it’s normally been
against average teams (think at Iowa in 2017 or at Purdue in 2018). Michigan
State is probably an 8-4 team, but I doubt they’ll be catching the Buckeyes
asleep at the wheel since they are in fact ranked.
Prediction: Ohio State
Enjoy football this
weekend! You deserve it.
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Oh, and one more thing. I
swear to god I might break my TV if I see Luke Jackson enter the game for the
Braves again in a relief. I seriously can’t remember an appearance for this guy
where he didn’t at least let one runner reach base. Last night he came in after Chris
Martin got hurt, and with the Braves clinging to a two run lead, gave up a solo
home run and then allowed two baserunners. There’s a million reasons the Braves
lost last night (Acuna not running hard out of the box again, Acuna getting caught
stealing in the first inning, the utter lack of situational hitting, Mark Melancon getting
torched in the ninth, the lack of a true ace, the utter lack of quality
pitching), but I actually think they would’ve been able to overcome all of it
if either Martin doesn’t get hurt or if Brian Snitker chose to go with anyone
out of the bullpen besides Jackson. You’ve got Josh Tomlin in the bullpen Snit!
Let him pitch! Let anyone else pitch! The only thing Jackson should be doing
for the Braves is cleaning the clubhouse bathroom after games. I’m not saying Julio
Teheran is great, but the fact that he wasn’t on the NLDS roster (until today,
due to Martin’s injury) while Luke Jackson was is a borderline fireable offense
for Snitker. You know who is better in relief than Luke Jackson even though he’s
not a relief pitcher? Julio Teheran! Does Luke Jackson have naked pictures of
Brian Snitker? Of the entire front office? Of everyone on the team? What is happening?
Why do we keep having to see this guy? It’s October!
Yesterday’s collapse makes
today a must-win. As a Braves fan, or hell, a Tennessee fan, I’m not allowed to
be confident about anything because my teams never actually wins any big games,
so I’m sure they’ll lose unless Mike Foltynewicz pitches the game of his
life. Listen, I like Folty, but counting on him is like expecting your 16-year-old
son to mow the backyard without you asking him to. Foltynewicz has pitched well
in his last 8 starts or so, but this is the same guy that was struggling so bad
earlier in the year that he actually got sent down to Triple A. I’d much rather
have Mike Soroka pitching today, but I guess we’ll be seeing him in Game 3 in
St. Louis when the Braves are down 0-2 and need someone to throw 7 or 8 innings.
The Braves realistically need Foltynewicz to pitch six or seven innings today; I
don’t see it.
This is my sports life.
Just loss after loss after loss until I drink myself to an early grave.
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