Saturday, September 16, 2017

Tennessee Just Pulled Off The Butchiest Loss Of Them All


Of all the bad Tennessee losses since 2015 (and there’s been a whole lot of them), this is by far the Butchiest. It had everything you’d ever want from a Butch-coached game; five million mistakes negating what was an absolute dominant performance by the Vols, terrible play calls at the most inopportune times, the entire fan base convulsing in frustration over and over again, the classic “we should send a dump truck full of cash to Chip Kelly’s house” texts I sent to my friends, a miracle comeback, and finally, a 66 yard hail mary on the final play. Just perfect.


For the thousandth time, what the hell are we waiting for? Is there anyone out there still defending Butch? This game was an absolute abomination, and coaching malpractice to the highest degree. Tennessee outgained Florida, tied in the turnover battle, won the time of possession by 5 minutes, and spent almost the entire 3rd quarter in Gator territory,  and they still lost.

The bomb to Tyrie Cleveland will be what everyone remembers, and Tennessee defensive back Micah Abernathy screwed up terribly by being way out of position, but the game completely turned during that 3rd quarter when the Vols had a 1st and goal from the one yard line and came away with nothing. We can thank Butch, offensive coordinator Larry Scott, and receiver Josh Palmer for that, as they wasted that golden opportunity by having a false start, a dropped pass by Palmer, a swing pass to John Kelly that lost yards, and an interception caused by Palmer when he stupidly forgot that he was running a slant pattern, which allowed a Gator defensive back jump in front of him for the easiest turnover of the night. Great sequence! 

John Kelly (19 carries, 141 yards) was awesome running the ball from about the second quarter on; why not just turn and hand it to him three straight times? But instead, they decided to throw three consecutive passes from the five yard line, two of which targeted Palmer, who is realistically their 6th most dangerous offensive weapon. The play calling was inexcusable and horrendous.

Positives? Besides Kelly, who was a monster and the best player on field, there isn’t a whole hell of a lot. Dormady showed some poise, but he threw three picks and isn’t anywhere close to being the best quarterback for this offense. The defense did their part until Abernathy let Cleveland run by him, and this might’ve been the worst performance I’ve ever seen from Tennessee’s kicking game. Three missed field goals and a kickoff out of bounds just can’t happen.

And what's so frustrating is that this Vol team is extremely talented! The offensive line is probably the best Butch has had since he’s been there, Kelly and Callaway are both NFL players, and the defense is a solid group that does an excellent job of forcing turnovers. There’s no reason they shouldn’t have beat this inferior Florida team that runs a clogged toilet bowl offense by three touchdowns. Hell, if UF coach Jim McElwain (who is far from being even a good coach) and Butch switched places, Tennessee wins 31-10 and the fan base is looking forward to a matchup with an undefeated Georgia team in two weeks. Instead, it’s Butch’s 4th devastating loss to Florida in five tries. 

Sure, Tennessee could still win the rest of their non-conference games, beat Kentucky, Vanderbilt, and Missouri, and then win one of the South Carolina-Alabama-Georgia-LSU games and finish 8-4, but would that make you feel any better about Butch? Another 8-4 season with god knows how many blown games? Is 8-4 all we expect?

Which is why the only good thing about the loss was that it's become obvious to everyone that there should be a new coach in Knoxville in 2018. About the only good thing Butch has done in his 4+ seasons is restore the talent in the program, which makes the job infinitely more attractive than it was when he accepted the position in December of 2012.

There’s no reason Tennessee, a program that can afford to pay a coach 5+ million a year, in a division, the SEC East, that’s full of a bunch of coordinators and gym teachers masquerading as FBS coaches, couldn’t hire someone like a Chip Kelly to come in and start winning big almost instantly. They’ve got the talent, resources, fan support, and desire in the athletic department to do it. So why not fill up a dump truck full of cash, drive to Chip Kelly’s house, dump it in his front yard, and beg him to come coach this team next season?

So without further ado, here’s my wish list of candidates to replace Butch. Start at the top, keep the dump truck full, and drive it around until someone says yes. 

1. Chip Kelly
My top choice. He’s an offensive guru, he won big at Oregon, a place with almost no in-state talent, and he’s just 53, meaning he’s still in his coaching prime and would be able to hang around for a few years. Plus, he could team back up with his former offensive coordinator Mark Helfrich to bring that legendary up tempo attack east. Nick Saban has bitched and moaned for years about playing offenses like the one Kelly runs, mostly because he's struggled to stop them. If beating Saban is the goal (and ultimately, it should be), then you won't find a better man for the job than Kelly. 

2. Bob Stoops
Stoops, who won a national title at Oklahoma in 2000, also won the Big 12 ten times during his eighteen years there. He also has SEC ties, dating back to his days as Florida’s defensive coordinator. Plus, he's only 57 years old, and he beat Saban in the Sugar Bowl after the 2013 season. Of course, he did abruptly retire this summer, and sources have said that he doesn’t plan on coaching again. Hell, maybe he just needed a season to recharge his batteries. Those OU people are nuts. It doesn’t hurt to call! 

3.Bobby Petrino
Yeah I know, he’s a snake and more shady than Marshall Mathers, but the guy has won a lot of games at Arkansas and Louisville, and he runs an exciting offense that scores a lot of points. 

4. Jon Gruden
Yeah, he’s not coming to Knoxville, but his name always has to be on the list when Tennessee has a job opening. I’d put him higher if I thought there was an actual chance of him coming to Tennessee, but there’s no doubt in my mind he’d be the perfect college football coach. High energy, kooky personality, likable….. 

5. Dan Mullen
Mullen has been in the SEC since 2005, and he’s been able to make Mississippi State relevant year in and year out. The only problem is that he shockingly makes $4.8 million a year. Not sure he’s leaving that for a little bit more money, even if Tennessee is far superior program. 

6. Mike Gundy
Honestly I’d hire him just for the mullet. Gundy is 107-50 at Oklahoma State, and like Kelly and Petrino, runs an up tempo, high scoring attack. He does make 4.2 million a year, but Tennessee could top that amount if they really wanted him. However, it could be difficult to pry him away, since Oklahoma State is his alma mater. 

7. Mike MacIntyre
MacIntyre has built both San Jose State and Colorado back into respectable programs, he’s both played and coached in the SEC, and he only makes $2.2 million per year. 

8.  PJ Fleck
Fleck is only 36 years old, and he’s never spent time in the SEC, but there probably isn’t a more energetic guy in college football than him. He had Western Michigan in a New Years Six bowl game last year, and if I had to bet on an under 40 coach to be wildly successful, I’d pick Fleck. I’d have him higher, but he is in just his first year at Minnesota, and I’m not sure he’d leave. 

9. Les Miles
While he’s far from my first choice, but he did average 10 wins a year at LSU, and his recruiting was always first rate. He’s 63, but he still seems to be interested in coaching. At worst, he’d keep the talent rolling in, and he wouldn’t inexplicably blow 4 games a year. 

10. Derek Dooley

Just kidding. Though even I’m not sure Dooley is capable of blowing the game today like Butch did.

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