LSU Craps Their Pants, Hires Ed Orgeron

When I texted my dad this morning to inform him that LSU was going to remove the interim tag from Ed Orgeron and hire him as their full time head coach, my old man, after the initial shock, replied by saying, “That is a good hire for the rest of the SEC”.

Mic drop?

Unfortunately for Tiger fans, he’s right. A few fun facts about Coach O and LSU:

1. He went 3-21 in the SEC, and 10-25 overall, during his three year tenure at Ole Miss from 2005-07. His predecessor there, David Cutcliffe, went 25-23 in conference and 44-29 overall, and had a 10 win season in 2003. When Orgeron took over full time, the Rebels slumped to 3-8, 4-8, and 3-9. For reference, here’s Derek Mason’s records in three seasons at Vanderbilt: 3-9, 4-8, 5-6. Keep in mind that everyone thinks Mason has done a terrible job in Nashville, and that he might be the worst coach in the state of Tennessee since Derek Dooley; but just looking at the win-loss record, couldn’t I argue that Mason’s had a better run at Vandy than Orgeron did at Ole Miss? If the Commodores beat Tennessee today, they’ll be bowl eligible! 

2. Look at his tenure at LSU thus far; where’s the big sexy win? Who have they beaten that they wouldn’t have defeated if Les Miles was still in charge? They ran all over a Missouri team that finished the year 4-8, beat an overmatched Southern Miss squad, knocked off an Ole Miss team that was in free fall, wore out an Arkansas team that just lost to Missouri, and handled a Texas A&M team that collapsed down the stretch AGAIN and AGAIN decided that they couldn’t tackle anymore. Their losses? They were shut out at home by Alabama, and scored 10 points at home against a very beatable Florida team. You’re telling me Les wouldn’t have gone 5-2 against that schedule? The guy won 10 games a year; Am I supposed to believe that he suddenly got dumb and wouldn’t have been able to beat Missouri?

3. All of this raises this question; why did you fire Miles in the first place? I was always under the impression that it was because of the ineptitude of his offenses, and his inability recently to challenge Nick Saban and Alabama. How does Coach O fix those problems at all? Couldn’t I argue that Orgeron is just a Cajun version of Les without the decade-long track record of success? He’s not an offensive wizard (the Florida and Alabama games made that clear), and what has he shown you that indicates he’s going to be able to even remotely challenge Saban? Zero points? Good luck.

Look, I get it, comparing your program’s success against what Saban is doing is ludicrous. He’s destroying people like prime Mike Tyson did in the 1980’s, and until he has his Buster Douglas moment, I’m not really sure there’s anything that can be done about it. But is Orgeron really the best you could’ve done? He’s not coming close to Saban; hell, I’d be willing to wager the entirety of my future earnings that the 10-0 score those teams played to this season will be the closest Coach O gets to Saban the rest of his tenure. I wasn’t the biggest Tom Herman fan (his Houston team lost THREE games this year as a double digit favorite), and it appears that he turned LSU down in favor of Texas, but pursuing a guy like that, someone known for offense, was the right move for this program that’s been challenged on that side of the ball the last decade.

Here’s a question; did you even call Bobby Petrino? I know I know, personally he’s unpalatable, but the offense would’ve been fixed overnight, and he would’ve at least made Saban sweat during the week before their game, worried about how he was going to stop that up tempo, hurry up attack. We know Nick hates those kinds of offenses; he's thrown fits about them, decrying them as "unsafe" on multiple occasions. It's obvious that he hates going up against them; why not at least make him miserable? But no, instead, you’ve given Alabama a scheduled “W” for the next three years or however long it takes before the powers in Baton Rouge decide that hiring a guy because he was a native Louisianan was a bad idea.

Which brings me to my next point; hiring a guy because he’s, “in the family” or, “from the state” is one of the dumbest rationales for giving someone an immense amount of power that I’ve ever heard. Why the hell should it matter if LSU’s never hired someone born in the state? That’s like saying, “I’ve been the CEO of this company for five years, but we just had to fire a member of our board of trustees. Who should we hire to replace him…. Hmmm…. I know! How about my alcoholic Uncle Ed! I know he’s got some issues, but screw it, he’s family!” I don’t care where the guy comes from, the most important factor in hiring a football coach should be how many games he’s going to win. The fact that “Orgeron is from Louisiana” was even mentioned is ludicrous.

BUT MATT BUT MATT BUT MATT!!!! HE'S BRINGING LANE KIFFIN WITH HIM TO RUN THE OFFENSE! THEY USED TO WORK TOGETHER AND THEY'RE GOOD FRIENDS! Kiffin's not coming to Baton Rouge; why would he? So he can lose to Saban every year too? Running Saban's offense is a great gig. There's a ton of pressure, but Kiffin doesn't bare the brunt of it; basically, he just calls the plays with the help of Saban, and gets piles of praise lumped on him when things go right, which they often have the last three seasons. Remember a few years ago, after his failed tenure at USC, when Kiffin was damaged goods? He didn't have a shot in hell at getting a college head coaching job again for a long time, maybe even ever. So what did he do? He went to Tuscaloosa and ran Saban's offense for him. Now, everyone's been recognizing his offensive mind again, and celebrating his play calling, and there's even been movement on the internet for Kiffin to get another head coaching job again. Why would he ever leave the best situation in college football, being around Nick Saban, to be on Orgeron's staff and get fired in three years? He wouldn't unless he was forced at gun point, and neither would anyone else. Here's the most incredible thing; I actually think hiring Kiffin to be their head coach would've been a better hire for the Bayou Bengals than Orgeron was. Yeah, he's got his own personality issues, but at least he knows offense and how to put points on the board. Orgeron literally brings you nothing.

Here’s the other problem; LSU just hired a guy who, if he wasn’t coaching college football, would probably be a middle school gym teacher in the midst of his third divorce. That’s never a good sign; Brady Hoke had the same look, and that submarined quicker than the Titanic. It’s just an absolutely reprehensible hire.

Good luck Tiger fans! Have fun going 6-6 the next three years!