Saturday, October 14, 2017

Tennessee Keeps Roping Us In And Then Crapping Themselves


If Tennessee had “the best bye week we’ve had here in a very, very long time”, then I’d hate to see what the results would be coming off the worst one. I mean, the offense crapped themselves worse than a non-potty trained 2 year old after Thanksgiving dinner. All they could muster was 9 points, 253 total yards, seven sacks given up, four red zone trips that ended with no touchdowns…. Just awful.
A few takeaways:
1.  Apparently, despite all the talk about them, it's pretty obvious that Tennessee didn't quite get enough leadership reps this week.
2.  Not breaking new ground here, but Butch is done. Probably not this week, but when they travel to Alabama next Saturday and lose 66-0, that’ll be it. Not that I wouldn't get rid of him now, of course. Hell, I would’ve fired him last year after they blew the Vanderbilt game and wasted the most talented Tennessee team in more than a decade by going 4-4 in the SEC.
Also, how the hell is Butch now 0-4 against Will Muschamp and his ever increasing beer gut? If you can't beat Muschamp (the quintessential example of a gym teacher) once in four tries, then you probably shouldn't be a Division 1 head football coach. 
3. Larry Scott and Sal Sunseri are the worst coordinator hires in the history of the school. I think, at this point, we have more than enough evidence to prove that Scott is a tight ends coach masquerading as a play caller. The red flags were everywhere when Scott was hired back in January, and it’s no surprise that side of the ball is an absolute dumpster fire. Scott’s clogged toilet bowl offense has brought them nothing but ten straight quarters without a touchdown, weird decisions in the red zone, and inability to consistently create a rushing attack, despite having one of the best running backs in the SEC. Sure, Scott is just running Butch’s offense, and Jones has the final say on every decision, but what exactly is Scott bringing to the table? Is he making the offense better? Everyone hated Mike DeBord, but at least Tennessee scored touchdowns last year. Now they can’t even figure out things like, “Marquez Callaway and John Kelly are by far our best offensive weapons, maybe they should touch the ball a combined 35-40 times a game” or, “Maybe we should roll Guarantano out of the pocket because he’s an athlete who is way more competent when he has the threat of making plays with his legs”. Of course, and this has been a problem before, it doesn’t matter what you do if your offensive line has more holes than Swiss Cheese.
4. I think it’s impossible to have a strong opinion on whether or not Jarrett Guarantano is going to be good until he actually has a competent offensive coaching staff. I thought this was the best he had looked at any point this season, but that really isn’t saying all that much considering he finished the day with just 133 passing yards and -2 rushing yards. Of course, it wasn’t a great sign when he spent the entire Georgia Tech game disinterested on the sidelines because he wasn't playing. Unfortunately, there's a lot riding on him, which is concerning, considering I'm not sure what we should make of him yet.
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Because of how the season has played out, 2017 has quickly devolved into the least interesting Tennessee football season of my life. The year was basically over on September 30th when Georgia blew them off the field at home, and since then, the “Grumors” surrounding who is going to be the next head coach have become infinitely more interesting than anything that's actually happening on the field week to week. So as I sat on my dad’s couch and watched the crap show play out, everything was so predictable. The anemic offense, the blown lead, the miracle comeback, the devastating loss. When Tennessee, facing a 15-9 deficit, got the ball back with less than two minutes, I was about as disengaged in big moment for a Vol game as I'd ever been. Sure, I was rooting for Tennessee, but I’ve been Butch'd so many times since Jones arrived in Knoxville that I knew it'd be a good idea to keep my guard up. There was no way they were going to suck me back in now. 
Of course, in typical Tennessee fashion, after doing nothing on offense all day, Guarantano inexplicably led a miracle drive all the way down into the red zone. When Brandon Johnson hauled in a long gainer to put the Vols into Gamecock territory, I forgot about everything I knew about Butch-coached teams and jumped all the way back in with two feet. “Holy crap, they’re going to win this game!” Because that's what you do when you're a fan. You start watching your team irrationally like an idiot while talking yourself into things you know they won't be able to do.
But because no one stays "on brand" quite like Butch, the Vols couldn't lose a close game without some good old fashion clock mismanagment first. After a completion to the five yard line that made it first and goal with 22 seconds left,Butch decided that rather than spiking the ball and stopping the clock, he was going to try and communicate a play across the field to his new quarterback, a guy who had never started a game before OR been in a high pressure situation like that. Genius. Hey brah, just tell him to go up there and spike it! It, of course, went terribly wrong, and by the time Guarantano got the ball snapped and lofted one into the end zone, the game clock had run all the way down to 9 seconds. Brilliant. Luckily, he got bailed out by a pass interference call in the end zone that put the ball on the two yard line.
No way they could screw this up, right? Whoops. Three straight incompletions, all of which were throws that the receivers had no chance to catch, ended the game. As Guarantano's last throw hit the ground and South Carolina rushed the field, I instantly felt like an idiot for ignoring my instincts, getting emotionally invested, and believing it would turn out differently this time. With Butch, it never does. 

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