Well, that was ugly.
Tennessee gave me a heart attack about 50 million different times tonight, and
my Old Man coughed up his entire bag of Cheetos when Ty Chandler and Jarrett
Guarantano screwed up their 4th quarter handoff. Despite everything, they
pulled out the game tonight, one that Butch Jones would’ve assuredly lost (or hell, one that Jeremy Pruitt would’ve lost earlier in the season).
Kentucky held the ball
for almost 42 of the 60 minutes, and limited the Vols to only ten possessions
the entire night. The Tennessee defense, after an embarrassing opening drive that saw the
Wildcats go 17 plays for 75 yards over ten minutes, was able to step up in almost every key moment in the final 50 minutes,
even if they did end up surrendering 302 yards on the ground.
Jarrett Guarantano was
the hero again tonight, a sentence I couldn't have imagined typing back in
September. He only had eight passing attempts, but he completed seven of them
for 115 yards and two TDs, and was even the Vol leading rusher with 30 yards. He
moved really well tonight inside and out of the pocket, and his scamper on
third down finished off the game for Tennessee. Pretty impressive for a guy with screws in a
hand that is wrapped up like a fragile Christmas present.
I don’t understand why Tennessee
was playing fewer than eight guys in the box on any play tonight. Kentucky would split
three guys out wide and the Vols would cover them with three defensive backs
and a safety over the top. Why? Lynn Bowden looked like a wounded deer every
time he dropped back to pass. He had 25 passing yards on seven attempts! He’s not going to be able to throw over the top of your defense
because he’s not a passer, HE’S A WIDE RECEIVER PLAYING QUARTERBACK! I get it,
Kentucky runs a funky offense that the Vols won’t see the rest of the season,
or maybe for the next five years, but they don’t do anything that should be
hard to stop. I get it, they only allowed 13 points, but do you think they played well tonight? Kentucky was so limited that they kept themselves from scoring, but they were still able to sustain drives and move the ball and always fall forward. Tennessee looked lost, like they'd never seen a team run an option play before.
Regardless, the Vols won
the game, and we won’t remember how they looked or what happened tomorrow, only
that they were victorious and moved another step closer to bowl eligibility. Kentucky should be a penciled in win every year for Tennessee, and Pruitt is now 2-0 against them. This is the "rivalry" game you should never lose.
Tennessee has some things
they need to clean up over the bye week. They had a touchdown called back in
the third quarter because they couldn’t line up correctly, and on the final
Wildcat drive, the Vols took a timeout and then came out on the field with 12
guys. Trey Smith got flagged for a dumb personal foul, and they got a roughing
the passer on a third and a mile that extended a Kentucky drive. It always seems
like they’re scrambling to get lined up correctly on defense, and tonight was
no exception.
Highlights, outside of JG:
Marquez Callaway led the team
in receiving with 4 catches for 103 yards, and snagged Guarantano’s first TD
pass. Josh Palmer made a great toe tapping TD catch, an incredible
athletic play that forced him to twist his entire body about 180 degrees.
Daniel Bituli was all over
the field tonight, registering 16 tackles, and Darrell Taylor seemed like the only
Tennessee defender capable of setting the edge on the UK option plays. Nigel
Warrior forced the only turnover for the Vols, and probably should’ve had return
TD, only to have it called back questionably by the officials.
Some of those guys are
seniors. Going to be hard to replace them next year.
The Vols have two very
winnable games remaining after the bye week. They go to Missouri on November 23, a team that
has lost three in a row, and then they'll host an atrocious Vanderbilt
team on Thanksgiving Weekend. Win both of those and they’ll be 5-3 in the SEC,
the first time they would've had a winning record in conference play since 2015.
Things feel like they are
going in the right direction for this program. They made enough plays in the
key moments tonight to win, something they were unable to do consistently
during the Dooley and Butch eras. This team could still win 8 games (including
a bowl victory), and that’s with them not being set at quarterback all year AND
having far less than 85 scholarship players.
How nice would it have
been if the Vols had busted out the Beer Barrel tonight? Isn’t that thing in a
closet in Knoxville somewhere? Couldn’t Pruitt or Fulmer have found it, brought
it to Lexington, and then busted it out postgame? How great would it have been
for Jauan Jennings to run around with that thing? Can we get that in Knoxville next year when the Vols win again? Let's make this happen.
This is not the Saturday to
go pumpkin patch picking.
Last week, I informed the
readers that if they were ever going to punt on watching football during a fall Saturday in favor of paying attention to their wives/girlfriends and doing stuff with them
that no man would normally enjoy in doing, November 2 would be the Saturday to do it. I wrote this because it was a weak schedule with one really compelling game (Georiga-Florida) sandwiched between a bunch of meh.
I hope you fellas that have had your lady threaten to throw a frying pan at your head if they see another
football game on TV took my advice last week, because if she’s irritated at you
right now, she’s definitely going to be calling that divorce lawyer on Monday morning
after this weekend. You aren’t going to want to get off the couch from noon
until after midnight tomorrow, because the schedule is absolutely LOADED this weekend.
Tomorrow is arguably
the best day of the entire college season to this point, and everything is circling around what should
be an epic LSU-Alabama throw down at 3:30. I’ll have a lot to say about that
one shortly, but like always, we start with Tennessee.
Tennessee
at Kentucky
The Vols travel to
Lexington to take on the Wildcats in a meeting that they've only lost twice since 1985. Tennessee has been so dominant in this “rivalry” that they’ve only been defeated in Lexington four times since 1960.
Allow me to digress here
for a second and give some further background about this game. From 1925-1997, this “rivalry” used to be a trophy game. As a 26 year old, I know some of the people my age and younger might not be aware of that,
but the winner of this annual game used to get this 1/3 orange, 1/3 white, and 1/3
blue barrel, (what Manning is holding above) affectionately referred to as the “Beer Barrel”. It was introduced
by Kentucky students during the Prohibition Era, which led to those guys painting "Ice Water" on the side of it. Hilarious. It's probably the only clever thing someone associated with that university has ever done.
The trophy wasn’t handed
out before the 1998 game due to the tragic deaths of two Kentucky football
players, who perished in an alcohol related car crash the week before the schools
met on the football field. The universities eventually agreed to terminate the
ceremony all together before their 1999 meeting.
Maybe handing out a
trophy called “The Beer Barrel” would be in poor taste the week after two football
players died in an alcohol related incident, but would it be in poor taste to continue
the practice now? Would the mere existence of the trophy mean that the schools
were dishonoring those two players? If that’s true, then how dare Tennessee
sell alcohol in Neyland Stadium? How could Kentucky think it was okay to sell alcohol in their
private sky boxes?
It’s a damn trophy. Do you really think there’s ever been
someone in the history of the world who was like, “I don’t like drinking
alcohol” or “I do enjoy drinking, but I don’t make irresponsible choices with
alcohol” who saw the Beer Barrel rolled out on the field and was all the sudden
like, “Oh damn, come on boys, get me about nine shots of bourbon and bring me
my car keys!”
Plus, half the Kentucky students who show up to this game are
going to be hammered. They’re going to leave whatever tailgate they were at
or whatever frat house they were in and stumble into Kroger Field in a drunken
stupor and shout obscenities at Jauan Jennings for three and half hours.
I can’t promise those insults will be in complete sentences, or that the students will even use actual words, because people from Kentucky have a hard enough time speaking coherently
when they’re sober. Maybe I should've said that they'll at least attempt to be insulting.
(Side note: the fact that
Kentucky sold their stadium naming rights to Kroger just goes to show how
little tradition they have in football, and how much of a joke of a program
they’ve been historically. The same program that would let a grocery store chain
own their naming rights is definitely the same place that would have a 1950 “National
Championship” trophy constructed more than 60 years after they didn’t win it so
they could have something to display in their football complex. Going into the Kentucky Football Complex and looking for trophies would be like going to Steven Seagal's house and searching for his acting awards. Speaking of Seagal,
the Seagal/ UK football parallels are almost uncanny; Both are
laughingstocks in their industry, yet have no self awareness about this and instead think they are badasses and “relevant”, based solely the content they put out/the way they talk about themselves. Seagal’s bar scene in Out For Justice is the movie equivalent of putting a trophy up in
your football complex for a championship you didn’t win. Seagal’s fat,
unsightly gut even resembles what Mark Stoops has in his midsection. Stoops always looks like a
guy who is on step away from showing more belly than Will Ferrell during the “More Cowbell” skit.)
The exact whereabouts of
the old Beer Barrel are unknown, but you know what, even if you couldn’t find
the old one, making a new, replica one would literally take less than a couple of hours.
It’s the most simple design imaginable.
You know what else? There’s
no buzz in this “rivalry” at all. Kentucky hasn’t really been competitive in
this game year to year in a long time; in fact, they haven’t taken consecutive games from Tennessee since
1977. Wouldn’t throwing a trophy into the mix every year give a little more flash to what has become a stale rivalry? How great is it at the end of the game when
the Wisconsin and Minnesota players run around with Paul Bunyan’s Ax? You’re
saying there wouldn’t be a ton of energy after the game if the winning side got to dash
around the field with the Beer Barrel lofted like it was the Stanley Cup?
There’s no reason not to bring this thing back. The Beer Barrel only brings fun and positivity.
In terms of the actual
game on Saturday, the Wildcats will be attempting to beat the Vols with a converted wide receiver starting at
quarterback for the second time this decade. Lynn Bowden has been the starter
in the last three Kentucky games, guiding them to victories over Arkansas and Missouri sandwiched around a shutout loss at Georgia. In his three starts, Bowden has
attempted only 37 passes, completed just 15 of them for a total of 188
yards, and guided the Wildcats to just 53 points. I know this
comes as a shock, but this isn’t a dynamic offense.
If I were Tennessee (and this
is what they’ll do), I’d just line up 8 or 9 guys in the box every time and beg
Bowden to throw it. Every time he drops back to pass is a win for
the defense. And if they can be stout on first and second down, Kentucky
might as well punt because there’s no way their crappy passing attack is going
to be able to convert third and longs.
I don’t think the Wildcats
have the guys upfront in the offensive line to blow the Vols off the ball and
dominate the line of scrimmage so severely that they rush for over 300 yards
and control the clock for 38 minutes. And there’s no way they’ll be able to win
this game depending on the passing game. Things look good for Tennessee on that end.
Of course, the Vols can’t let their
foot off the gas, and they’ll have to show the same defensive effort they’ve had
the last six quarters (they’ve given up a total of seven points since halftime
of the South Carolina game). Of course, I’m not as concerned about that as I am about
their offense, which looked incredible against the Gamecocks but then puttered
around a bit against what is admittedly a good UAB defense. Kentucky doesn’t
have an incredible, all time defense, but they also haven’t give up more than
29 points in any game this season, and in fact, haven’t given up that more than that since Georgia laid 34 on them in early November of last year.
Jeremy Pruitt has yet to
name a starter at quarterback, though if we’re basing it on what has happened so far this
season, I’d bet that Jarrett Guarantano will get the majority of the snaps,
even if he doesn’t start the game. That’s concerning because 1. He hasn’t played
that well outside of the South Carolina game all year and 2. He has a broken left
hand. Pruitt seemed confident in Guarantano during the week leading up to the UAB
game, but then mentioned, since it was cooler on Saturday night than it
was during their practices, that it affected him negatively. Temperatures in Lexington
will be in the low 40s at kickoff, and could dip into the upper 30s in the second
half. So unless JG spends the entire week practicing in an igloo, I’d say the
weather will affect his hand again tomorrow.
Which begs the question;
why isn’t Brian Maurer starting? Pruitt said he was a full go last week, but the
closest Maurer got to the field was when he ran through the T in the pregame.
Is he actually not 100%? The only thing that changed from when he was named the
starter for the Georgia game until now was the fact that he got concussions in
back to back games. I get it, teams don’t have to fill out injury reports in
college, so Pruitt can basically get up there and say whatever he wants week to
week about the health of his players, but since Maurer hasn’t played the last two
weeks, the evidence points to him not making an appearance on the field the rest
of the season.
Which means, if JG stinks
it up for a couple of series, that the Vols will now be reliant on JT Shrout, a
freshman who, while he looked good against South Carolina, only has 27 career attempts
and has never played a meaningful minute in a road game. In fact, the Vols haven’t
won a road game all season, and have been outscored 69-16 away from Knoxville.
This game is going to be
a low scoring brawl for three hours. I feel so confident about the rock fight
nature of this game that I’m making the under my “Bet The Mortgage” Pick of the
Week (we’re 5-1 on these now guys). The over/under is 42 points, and this game will assuredly be played in the teens or single digits. The Vols have scored more than 26
points against a Power 5 team once this season, South Carolina, and they did
that with the help of two special teams TDs. The 26 points they scored against
BYU happened only because the game went into double overtime. Their high in
points against SEC competition (outside of South Carolina) is the 20 they scored
against Mississippi State. In fact, that game is probably a pretty good litmus
test for how this one will play out. The Vols knocked off the Bulldogs 20-10 in
a slog of game that ended with a long Tennessee TD drive late in the fourth
quarter. Kentucky is going to try and control the clock and keep the Vol
offense off the field, meaning the already average Tennessee attack is going to
be even more limited due to their lack of opportunities.
I don’t think anyone will
care about the game being uglier than Mark Stoops’s post hot wing bathroom
break as long as the Vols win. Moving another victory closer to bowl eligibility
inspires confidence and keeps everyone from railing on the internet about how
they need to pull Jarrett Guarantano’s scholarship, or how Pruitt didn’t go far
enough in yanking his facemask, and in fact, literally should’ve ripped his
head off. Well, actually, hell, the JG stuff will probably still happen
regardless, but at least everyone won’t be AS depressed on Monday morning when
their wives finally get tired of dealing with their college football habit and
make a call to that divorce lawyer.
Hell, it’s Kentucky! It
doesn’t matter how low the Tennessee program dips, they can always hang their
hat on dominating this “rivalry”. Hell, half the stuff I’ve written about this game
was how much of a joke the Kentucky program is.
Plus, there’s no way
Tennessee could lose to the Wildcats starting a wide receiver at quarterback
again, right? Right?
Prediction: Tennessee
#2
LSU at #3 Alabama
The game of year in
college football on paper, at least to this point. It may be replaced by something
down the road, but for now, this is it.
Ed Orgeron has been the
LSU head coach the last three years in this rivalry and has lost all three
times by a combined score of 53-10. The Tide have shut the Tigers out two of those
three times, and haven’t lost to them since “The Game of the Century” matchup
between the two, the 9-6 slugfest in 2011.
Back in 2016, when the
Tigers were spurned at the last moment by Tom Herman (he went to Texas), they
decided to remove the interim tag from Ed Orgeron and make him their full
time head coach. At the time, I killed the hire in a piece, and topped it off with
this immortal headline: “LSU Craps Their Pants, Hires Ed Orgeron”.
Some relevant quotes from
that story (quotes in italics, my updated commentary in normal font):
“When I texted my dad this morning to
inform him that LSU was going to remove the interim tag from Ed Orgeron and
hire him as their full time head coach, my old man, after the initial shock,
replied by saying, “That is a good hire for the rest of the SEC”.”
Wow!
Piping hot take from my Old Man! And yes, if you were wondering, I’m sure he
went back to stuffing his face with Cheetos immediately after texting me that.
“Here’s a question; did you even call Bobby Petrino? I know I
know, personally he’s unpalatable, but the offense would’ve been fixed
overnight, and he would’ve at least made Saban sweat during the week before
their game, worried about how he was going to stop that up tempo, hurry up
attack.”
Yikes! Coach
O has the Tigers at number 2 and is just a few wins away from the playoff. Meanwhile,
Petrino, since the published date of my piece (November 26th, 2016) went
10-15 in his final 25 games as the coach at Louisville before getting fired in November of last year. I spent large portions of 2016 hyping up Petrino
as a legitimate option as a head coach for all of the big time programs
(including at Tennessee), only for his career to go completely down the toilet
over the next two years. Probably my worst take of all time.
“Which brings me to my next point; hiring a guy because he’s,
“in the family” or, “from the state” is one of the dumbest rationales for
giving someone an immense amount of power that I’ve ever heard. Why the hell
should it matter if LSU’s never hired someone born in the state? That’s like
saying, “I’ve been the CEO of this company for five years, but we just had to
fire a member of our board of trustees. Who should we hire to replace him….
Hmmm…. I know! How about my alcoholic Uncle Ed! I know he’s got some issues,
but screw it, he’s family!” I don’t care where the guy comes from, the most
important factor in hiring a football coach should be how many games he’s going
to win. The fact that “Orgeron is from Louisiana” was even mentioned is
ludicrous.”
I
actually stand by this one. Just because Coach O has exceeded my (and let’s be
honest, everyone’s) expectations doesn’t mean that, if the main rationale for
hiring him was because he was from the state of Louisiana, then that’s a dumb
as hell reason. Hey, if Jeremy Pruitt doesn’t work out, screw it, let’s go get
Jim Bob from Bucksnort, Tennessee to be the head coach! That guy is in the family
dammit!
“BUT MATT BUT MATT BUT MATT!!!! HE'S BRINGING LANE KIFFIN
WITH HIM TO RUN THE OFFENSE! THEY USED TO WORK TOGETHER AND THEY'RE GOOD
FRIENDS!”
Even
back then, I was strawmanning the opposition with “BUT MATT BUT MATT BUT MATT”.
(I was right by the way; Kiffin was never going to LSU. He may be at FSU in
2020 though! Keep your eye on that! Or hell, Deion Sanders might be who they hire! What a joke.)
“Here’s the other problem; LSU just hired a guy who, if he
wasn’t coaching college football, would probably be a middle school gym teacher
in the midst of his third divorce. That’s never a good sign; Brady Hoke had the
same look, and that submarined quicker than the Titanic. It’s just an
absolutely reprehensible hire.”
I hadn’t
stumbled into calling Orgeron the Cajun Swamp Monster yet, so I went with the
more classic, “this guy is so in over his head that he should be doing THIS job”
joke. That joke now looks dumb as hell, of course.
(Side
note: I haven’t called him the Cajun Swamp Monster all year as far as I can recall. He’s been too
successful for me to even really make fun of him, outside of a couple references
to the fact that he sounds like a nine pack a day smoker when he talks. He’s
won so many games that I've semi-retired that nickname. I might have to get rid
of it permanently if he beats Saban on Saturday)
“But is Orgeron really the best you could’ve done? He’s not
coming close to Saban; hell, I’d be willing to wager the entirety of my future
earnings that the 10-0 score those teams played to this season will be the
closest Coach O gets to Saban the rest of his tenure.”
So far, I’ve
been right about this. 2017 was a two touchdown win for Alabama, and last year
was a 29-0 shutout.
This is really the key part of this. Saban is a tidal
wave to rest of the SEC, and schools have had a hard time trying to figure out what to do about it. No program
should hire their football coach expecting to get Saban-level results from him,
because what Nick has done in Tuscaloosa has made him arguably the greatest
coach in the history of the sport. Since 2008, Saban is 147-15 with the Tide. That’s a
winning percentage of just over 90%. No one will ever do that in the SEC again.
But what
you should expect from your coach, particularly if you’re at a place like LSU,
is that you don’t get completely outclassed by Saban every single time you play
him. Hell, can you even make him sweat every once in a while, or even find a
way to win sometimes? Gus Malzahn has
two wins against Saban. Kirby Smart is 0-2, but could very easily be 2-0. So
far for Coach O, it’s been three ass kickings. When they lost 10-0 in Baton Rouge
in 2016, LSU had only 125 yards of offense. That was the closest they came and
that was the level of offense they put out.
I’ve
said all year that if there was ever a time for Orgeron to beat Saban, this
would be it. Joe Burrow has a chance to be the best LSU quarterback of all
time, and gone are the days of the Les Miles “run into the line of scrimmage and
fall down offense”. The Tigers have a modern passing game, equipped with an NFL
quarterback and loads of excellent offensive skill people.
Tua Tagovailoa
is definitely going to play tomorrow, but one weird turn or hit on his
surgically repaired ankle and he’s out of the game. It doesn’t matter how mediocre
the LSU defense has been at times, I don’t trust Mac Jones to come in and be
able to pick them apart.
This is
also probably the worst Alabama defense that Saban has had since probably his 2007 team, his first year, but what’s crazy is that they still rank second in
the SEC in points allowed and third in yards allowed. Granted, they haven’t played
a quarterback anywhere near the level of Burrow, so we don’t really know what
they’re capable of against a good offense. A couple of teams (Tennessee, South
Carolina, Ole Miss) that don't have elite attacks have been able to move the ball
on them at least a little bit.
The case
for Alabama is that 1. They’re at home 2. They need the game more and 3. They’ve
got the best coach in the history of college football. The Tide have played one
of the worst schedules in the country, and based on that and the fact that the
committee ranked them behind LSU in the initial playoff rankings that came out
Tuesday, I don’t think they would get the reputation pass like they did in 2017,
when they didn’t win either the SEC or the SEC West. If Alabama doesn’t win
tomorrow, LSU is going to win that division, barring something catastrophic.
The Tigers
have played a tougher schedule, and that win at Texas in September should start
looking like a more quality one as long as the Longhorns can get things cleaned
up here at the end of the season. LSU is
more likely to make it into the playoff with a loss tomorrow than Alabama
is.
Assuming
Tua can stay out there the entire time, we could get a really fun shootout
between these two. LSU’s doesn’t have their traditional dominant defense (they
rank 4th in yards allowed per game and 6th in points allowed
per game in the SEC), and they just lost Michael Divinity due to personal
reasons, shortening up an already thin linebacking core. If there were ever a week
for Alabama to get their strangely anemic running game going, this would be it
(they rank 8th in the SEC in rushing yards per game! 8th!
How is that possible for a Nick Saban team?).
Of
course, why isn’t “The Alabama defense turns in their best performance of the
season and holds LSU to a season low in points and yards" just as likely of an
outcome? I kind of feel like a shockingly low scoring game is in play here. Not
9-6 like 2011, but somewhere in the 20s for both teams. This the biggest game
anyone on LSU has ever played in, and while Joe Burrow might’ve been the best
quarterback in college football through the first ten weeks, should we really
trust him in a spot as big as this? Burrow was the picturesque example of an
average college quarterback last season; now, all the sudden, he’s Peyton
Manning? I’d like to see it this week.
Plus,
the Saban thing. Both schools have had an extra week to prepare for this game,
but come on, who do you trust more coming off a bye, Saban or Orgeron? The
Tigers aren’t going to catch the Tide napping, and they don’t have the defense
to maul Alabama either.
This is final
test for Orgeron. He’s answered every criticism that I (and everyone) had for
him, besides this one. He may never have a better opportunity to win the SEC,
go to the playoff, and win a national title than this. He can take the first
step towards that tomorrow by going into Tuscaloosa and leaving victorious.
Will he
do it? Is he still the Cajun Swamp Monster?
Prediction:
Alabama
I’ve
written almost 4,000 words about these two games so I’ll try to move quickly through
these last ones.
#4 Penn State at #17 Minnesota
The
biggest game for the Golden Gophers in decades is harmed a bit by the fact that it is kicking off at 11 o’clock in the morning local time. I think it’s pretty
much impossible to get a crowd incredibly jacked up for a game that happens
before lunchtime. I’m not saying they won’t be rowdy and ready to go, but it’s
going to be in the upper 30s at kickoff, and due to the early nature of the
game, the fans aren’t going to have the hours upon hours to get that liquid
lubrication that they would have if this game was in the late afternoon or at
night. Minnesota is going to need all the help they can get too, because Penn
State is, let’s be honest, a much better football team than them.
Speaking
of the Golden Gophers, and this is a conversation my old man and I have had
between his Cheeto breaks, but why can’t the Minnesota football program be on
the same level year to year as Wisconsin? They’re both cold, Midwestern states
with almost identical populations, yet Wisconsin has been to five New Years Six
Bowl Games this decade, while Minnesota hasn’t been to a bowl game anywhere
close to that prestigious since they were in the 1962 Rose Bowl. Obviously Barry
Alvarez was a great coach that turned Wisconsin into what they are today, but
they’ve had three different guys since then and the program is still rocking and rolling.
Maybe PJ Fleck is the coach that turns Minnesota into a good program year in and
year out. They did just give him a pretty big contract extension through 2026
this week. Of course, what if he has higher ambitions? What if he wants one of
the blue blood jobs? Because that’s the thing about Wisconsin, and it’s
probably true of Minnesota as well; there’s a ceiling at both places that is lower
than winning a national title, and probably even lower ever than making the
playoff. If Fleck is happy in Minneapolis and wants to turn this into a good
program year in and year out, good for him. But there are better jobs where you
can win at a higher level.
Prediction: Penn State
Maryland at #1 Ohio State
This is
our “Big Noon Kickoff” on Fox this week. Really. I don’t know how the contract
works between the Big Ten, ESPN/ABC and Fox, but why isn’t Penn State at
Minnesota the “Big Noon Kickoff”? Because that game is significantly better. And
I thought Fox was putting their best game at noon every week. Maryland-Ohio
State is going to be 81-7.
Not a
great debut year for the Big Noon Kickoff. Maybe they can salvage it the rest
of the month.
Prediction:
Ohio State
#18 Iowa at #13 Wisconsin
Or better
yet, why the hell isn’t this the Big Noon Kickoff? THIS GAME IS ON FOX! THEY
HAVE THE RIGHTS TO IT! Are we just slapping Ohio State at noon because they’re going
to get a great number, quality game be damned? You know what won’t get a great
number? When Ohio State is up 42-0 on Maryland midway through the second quarter
and Maryland’s Mike Locksley is sneakily eating hot dogs on the sidelines while
struggling to fit into his size 66 pants.
Prediction:
Wisconsin
Missouri at #6 Georgia
If Kelly
Bryant had it to do over again, would he still have transferred to Missouri?
The Tigers have lost back to back weeks at Vanderbilt (ugh) and Kentucky, can’t
go to a bowl game due to NCAA sanctions, and Bryant is attempting to get ready
for the NFL by receiving coaching from Derek Freaking Dooley. This is shaping up to be
the worst career decision since when Hamilton agreed to duel Burr.
You know
what would’ve been really fun? If he’d chosen to go to Washington State and
play for Mike Leach. He would’ve finished the year with like 5,000 passing
yards and got to hear weekly unhinged press conferences from Leach where he
talked about things like how zombies have been played out.
Prediction:
Georgia
#5 Clemson at N.C. State
The fly
in the ointment for what is otherwise a phenomenal college football weekend.
Normally I wouldn’t care about this game, except for the fact that the television
networks are trying to make me since it’s the ABC Saturday Night Game. Clemson
is going to run through this crappy Wolfpack team about as easily as those hot
dogs will through Mike Locksley.
Prediction:
Clemson
Iowa State at #9 Oklahoma
The Sooners
have a long climb to get to the playoff. Based on the committee’s rankings,
they’ll be behind Oregon at the end of the year if both teams win out,
meaning the Big 12 looks like they’ll be left out of the playoff for the first
time since 2016 (that is, unless Baylor wins out OR there’s a ton of chaos in
front of OU). The only thing Oklahoma can do is win as impressively as possible
each week. It won’t be easy for them to beat the hell out of this solid Iowa
State team though, but they’ll come away victorious by at least two TDs.
Prediction:
Oklahoma
#16 Kansas State at Texas
If the
Longhorns can’t find a way to win on Saturday, they’ll be 5-4 on the year and
far from Sam Ehlinger’s prediction after last year’s Sugar Bowl that Texas was “baaaaaack”.
Joe Tessitore made the same statement after they beat Notre Dame in 2016, only
to see Charlie Strong get fired only a few months later. Can everyone stop doing
the whole “Texas is back” thing until they actually, hell, I don’t know, win the
Big 12 again? It hasn’t happened since 2009.
It was another exciting Saturday of college football, despite the lack of quality on the on-paper schedule coming into the weekend. Of course, it’s hard for me to come away
disappointed from a weekend if Tennessee wins, no matter their competition.
Let’s
just start there….
Vols
Crushed UAB in a game they had to win on the way to bowl eligibility
I wrote about Tennessee's victory on Saturday night, but this was a game they had to win. I can’t imagine
the blowback for Jeremy Pruitt and the program if the Vols lost to both Georgia State and UAB in the
same season. I don't think they'd let Pruitt set foot in Gus's ever again.
The quarterback play was
really strong last week against South Carolina, but regressed to the mean on
Saturday. Part of that can be attributed to Jarrett Guarantano playing with a broken
hand, but if JG was like 50%, then why weren’t the Vols playing JT Shrout more? Are we not going to see Maurer again this season due to his multiple
concussions? And is JG still continuing to play as much as he is because the quarterback job is his to lose going into next season? All
of this is probably moot if Harrison Bailey comes next season and performs as well
as we all hope he does, but if he's not ready, then we could be in for another season of inconsistent quarterback play and multiple in game changes a week.
The Vols really are just
a quarterback, and probably another wave or two of recruits, away from being able to compete with Georgia and Florida in the SEC East. The cupboard was never as bare as everyone made it out to be, it was just that the quarterback play was
so awful that it kept the rest of the roster from reaching its potential.
Tennessee just has to
find a way to go 2-1 in their final three games to become bowl eligible for the
first time since 2016. It starts on Saturday at Kentucky, a team they’ve only
lost to twice since 1985. Win that one (and they should), and they’ll get their
bye week before traveling to Missouri and hosting Vanderbilt. Frankly, with as well as they've played, the Vols could very easily win all three of these games, and finish with a winning
record in conference play for the first time since 2015. Could they make a
January 1 Bowl Game with a 5-3 conference record? That should be the goal.
Florida
State fired Willie Taggart yesterday
And with his termination,
thus ends the tenure of one of my favorite college football punching bags. Sigh. You’ll be
missed coach. Hey Willie, I think Saban will probably hire you… to bring Butch
Jones coffee.
With all that said, I was
surprised the ‘Noles pulled the plug as quickly as they did. Don’t get me wrong,
I thought from the jump that Taggart was an awful hire for them (he had losing career
record as a head coach before he got to Tallahassee), and was proven right time
and time again, but from their perspective, he got less than two seasons and is
now owed like $18 million in a buyout. Holy crap. Florida State has money, but
they’re not Tennessee or Alabama either, and that’s an enormous price to pay
for a guy that lasted 21 games.
Unbelievably, it gets even worse. Back in 2017, not only did the ‘Noles agree to pay Taggart’s
$3 million buyout at Oregon, making way for him to come to Tallahassee, but they also
agreed to pay the $1.3 million that
Oregon owed South Florida for Taggart’s buyout there, after he left USF in
2016. So all in all, the ‘Noles are going to pay more than $20 million in
buyouts for a coach that won them 9 games. Willie may be a middle school
janitor masquerading as a head coach, but that guy knows how to hire one hell
of an agent.
My Angry Old Man’s Take: “That’s
financial malpractice of the highest order. The folks responsible for hiring and
firing coaches so quickly need to be shown the door also. Yes, Taggart was a
disaster. But somebody hired him and that person must be accountable for that.”
And when I told him that Stan Wilcox, the AD that hired him, no longer works at
FSU but now has a job at the NCAA, he said, “Of course. An incompetent guy at
FSU gets a promotion to the NCAA office. Lol”. Then he went back to stuffing
his face with Cheetos and sleeping at the same time.
Who should the ‘Noles
hire? Kentucky’s Mark Stoops is a pretty obvious choice. He has FSU ties (he
was their defensive coordinator from 2010-2012), he guided the 2018 Wildcats to
their first ten win season since 1977, and his buyout if he left Kentucky would
only be $1.75 million. The downside, of course, is that he’s been at UK since
2013 and has a losing career record at 40-43. He’s an even worse 19-35 in the
SEC.
How is that going to play
with the FSU faithful? “Hey fans, that Willie Taggart thing didn’t work out. We
should’ve known that a guy who had a losing record as a head coach wouldn’t be
a good hire. Which is why we’ve decided to hire…. Mark Stoops! (silence). What’s
that? He has a losing record as a head coach too? What? Really? Damn. At least he started displaying the mythical 1950 Kentucky National Championship Trophy in their football complex. THAT'S A GUY THAT KNOWS HOW TO SELL HIS PROGRAM!”
With that said, from Stoops’s
perspective, he would 100% take the job if offered. Why would he choose to stay
at a worse job with tougher competition, Kentucky, when he could go to a better
job with easier competition? He wouldn’t.
Now I get it, Stoops isn’t the
most attractive name (or with that gut, most attractive guy), but they aren’t
going to get Urban Meyer or Bob Stoops to come to Tallahassee either, which means a
guy like Stoops might be their best bet. Matt Campbell at Iowa State is another
guy that’s name always pops up this time of year, but his buyout is $6 million, and I
don’t think the ‘Noles would want to pay that. PJ Fleck has Minnesota
undefeated, so I’m sure they’ll kick the tires on him as well. Matt Rhule at Baylor
is another name to watch, but his name has been in NFL rumors the last two
years, and that seems like where he wants to end up ultimately. If I had to
make a prediction now, less than 24 hours into the process, I’d say it’ll be Mark
Stoops, despite the whole losing record thing.
Another name to keep an
eye on: Lane Kiffin. I know I know, but why the hell not? He’s still young
(only 44!), he’s been coaching in Florida for the last three years, he’s proven
himself to be a capable recruiter, and he even rebuilt his reputation a lot
during his stint as Alabama’s offensive coordinator. I get it, it didn’t work
at USC (and may not have worked long term at Tennessee), but that was a while
ago and he’s definitely matured as a guy since then, Joey Freshwater stories
notwithstanding. The problem with hiring Kiffin is that you’re either going to hit a home run, or ground into a double play, with no in between. You either win
multiple ACC Championships and compete for national titles, or you get put on
probation after two years and are doing another coaching search in 2021.
Scott
Frost… sheesh
The Cornhuskers dropped
to 4-5 on Saturday, and 8-13 overall, with Scott Frost, the favored son and
most handsome man college football, in charge of the program. Nebraska’s loss
on Saturday was particularly egregious; they gave up 31 points and 449 yards to
a 2-6 Purdue team that was playing their true freshman third string quarterback.
The Huskers need to win
two of their final three to go bowling, but that will be a tall task, as they play
both Wisconsin and Iowa in the final three weeks. Willie Taggart just got fired
at FSU for going 9-12 through 21 games, and everyone agreed that he was a bad
hire and was going to be gone sooner rather than later. Frost has a worse
record than that, and in 2019, has two Big Ten wins, over conference “stalwarts”
Illinois and Northwestern.
Scott Frost is the Joey from
Friends of coaches. He’s the handsome idiot who gets dumber the more he’s
exposed to the spotlight. I’m not a big Friends guy, but all these shows have
to write these characters into even more extreme versions of themselves the
longer the show goes on. Joey was so dumb by the end of the series that it became unbelievable
that he could actually function as an adult. Like I'm not even sure Joey could put his socks on by himself by the time the show reached Season 9. Frost has butchered this Nebraska
situation so badly that I can’t believe everyone (including myself) thought it
was a good hire back in 2017. Not being able to put your socks on as an adult is the football equivalent to losing to a 2-6 Purdue team starting their third string quarterback.
Georgia
held on against Florida to win the Cocktail Party and bascially wrap up their third
straight East Division title
The Georgia defense swallowed
up the Gator offense, and as predicted, held them to only 21 yards on the ground.
Meanwhile, the Florida defense gave up 12 third down conversions and let the ‘Dawgs
hold the ball for almost 36 minutes.
Jake Fromm threw for close to 300 yards, and Georgia even managed to rush for more than 100 yards against
the stout Gator front.
The path from here for Georgia
is simple; they have to win out to make the playoff. This means they’ll need to
find a way to solve the Alabama puzzle, or beat LSU’s high-flying offense in the
SEC Championship Game AND win on the road at Auburn on November 16th.
I would be shocked if they pulled both of those things off.
For Florida, the best thing
they can do now is to win out, finish the year 10-2, and hope to get invited to
a New Years Six Bowl Game for the second straight year. If they did that, Florida
fans would have to consider Dan Mullen’s first two years successful, even with the
fact that they haven’t beaten Georgia yet. He’s going to have to find a way to
do that eventually, but the problem he’s going to face in the immediate future is finding the right
quarterback. At this point, that guy isn't on the Florida roster. Kyle Trask is
serviceable, but again, no coach in the country snaps awake at night, clutching
a teddy bear, scared about how they’re going to deal with him. Feleipe Franks
will be back next year as well, but come on, that guy has been a turnover waiting
to happen his entire Gator career.
Oh, and thanks to this
game, our “Bet The Mortgage Pick Of The Week” hit for the fifth time in six tries.
We were all over the under. I’ve made everyone so much money this year. Hell,
can I get a cut of those winnings?
Teams
Still Alive For The Playoff
As always, you’re still in
contention for the playoff as long as you are in a Power 5 league and have one
loss or fewer, with the exception of the ACC, which is such a garbage league
this year that one loss eliminates you (undefeated teams marked with an *)
ACC: *Clemson
The Tigers beat the hell
out of… Wofford this weekend and will now hit the “toughest” stretch of their season. I have no idea how they’ll handle NC State… ON THE ROAD this weekend.
Then they get the powerful and frightening WAKE FOREST DEMON DEACONS in their building,
before finish with South Carolina on the road, a game they haven’t lost since
2013. What a garbage schedule.
Big Ten: *Ohio State, *Penn
State, *Minnesota
Penn State travels to
Minnesota on Saturday for the biggest game in the modern history of the Gopher
program. Even if Minnesota wins, they still have to play both Iowa and
Wisconsin in the final three weeks of the season, and then beat either Ohio State
or Penn State in the Big Ten Championship Game. Seems like a more impossible task than whatever John Wick pulled off. I’ve
said all year that the Big Ten will be decided on November 23rd when
the Nittany Lions travel to Columbus to play Ohio State.
Big 12: *Baylor, Oklahoma
These two play each other
in Waco on November 16th in a game that will be for first place in the
conference. If Baylor can win that one, I think we’ll have to start taking them
seriously as a playoff contender. If they lose, I think that virtually eliminates
them, because the eye test wouldn’t indicate to anyone that they’re one of the
four best teams, even if they do end up rebounding and winning the Big 12 at
12-1. But they’re not going to get left out at 13-0. Oklahoma needs to win out,
and get some carnage up top. We’re talking about multiple two loss teams. Otherwise,
everyone is going to hold that horrible defensive performance against Kansas
State against them, which further perpetuated the true notion that their
defense is terrible.
SEC: *LSU, *Alabama, Georgia
LSU and Alabama play each
other in Tuscaloosa on Saturday in what will be the Tigers best chance to win
this game since 2011. The loser on Saturday isn’t eliminated on Saturday, but
they’ll need some things to break their way to make it. Alabama would need more
help than LSU due to their lackluster schedule. Georgia has to win out to make
it, though if they did that, and beat an undefeated LSU or Alabama in the SEC
Championship Game, that wouldn’t necessarily eliminate the Western Division
team that is 12-1, or the Western Division team that is 11-1. The SEC has a
good chance to get multiple teams again, like they did in 2017.
Pac 12: Oregon, Utah
The Ducks and Utes played
their best games of the year on Saturday by going on the road and winning comfortably.
Washington scored a garbage time TD against Utah, or otherwise that would’ve
been a double digit game.
The big winner from
Saturday was Oregon. The Ducks, after trailing 10-0 to USC in the first half,
finished the game on a 56-14 run and flushed the Clay Helton era down one of the
Coliseum toilets. Oregon finally looked like one of the five or six best teams
in the country, and they’ve got to be kicking themselves every day that they
blew that stupid Auburn game that they dominated for 58 of the 60 minutes.
Otherwise, they’re 9-0 now and would probably be in the Playoff Committee’s
first top 4 that comes out tomorrow. I think they’ve got a better chance to
make the playoff as a one loss conference champion than Oklahoma does at this point
(I think the committee would pick Oklahoma over Utah though).
Here are the Oregon and
Utah schedules the last three weeks:
Oregon: Arizona, @Arizona
State, Oregon State
Utah: UCLA, @Arizona,
Colorado
The Ducks and Utes should
be favored in all of their last three games, and as long as they don’t screw it
up, they should both be 11-1 when they
meet for the Pac 12 Championship in early December, with a potential playoff
berth on the line.
Tonight’s Vol victory
over UAB was nothing more than exactly what it was supposed to be. It was what we all thought the Georgia State game was going to be, a dominant performance against
an overmatched Group of Five team.
The Vols nearly
doubled UAB’s rushing output (121 to 63), held the football for almost 8 more
minutes, picked up 20 first downs, and won the turnover battle four to one.
Bryce Thompson killed the UAB offense in the first half by tying a school record with three interceptions, and Jauan Jennings added another strong outing to his senior season, as he finished with 70 receiving yards and a rushing touchdown.
Ty Chandler continues
to be the best and most consistent running back on the roster. He turned his 16 carries into 85
yards and a touchdown. Eric Gray couldn't get much going tonight on the ground (8 carries, 8 yards), but he did catch a touchdown pass, the first score of his Vol career.
If there’s a complaint
about the game, it’s that the Vols could’ve won by even more than they did.
Their first three scoring drives ended with field goals, and Jarrett Guarantano
threw an endzone interception right before the half that got him screamed at by
Pruitt. Amazing, I didn’t think it was possible to coach a guy hard without
putting your hands on his facemask. That’s all I heard from Bubba in Bulls Gap
the last two weeks.
The offense was far
from crisp, and UAB certainly deserves some credit for that, because again,
this is a good, capable defense, even if they are just a Group of Five team.
But in reality, the lackluster Vol performance had more to do with the lack of quality quarterback play. I’m not going to rip JG too hard here because the guy literally had hand surgery less than a week ago, but he clearly was affected by his hand and his performance was the complete opposite of what it was last week. All of which makes me wonder why he was even out there in the first place.
I’m assuming we
aren’t going to see too much of Brian Maurer the rest of the year, if at all,
due to his multiple concussions, but with JG banged up, why not play Shrout more tonight? He
only threw six passes the entire game. Would he have been significantly worse
than what Guarantano gave them? I don’t think so. All of this is probably
moot if Harrison Bailey is as good as everyone hopes he is, but if he’s not,
wouldn’t it be nice for a guy like Shrout, who could potentially be the starter next year,
to get as many live game reps as possible? Or is Pruitt planning on Guarantano
being the starter next year also? I can’t imagine that would be the case. Right?
Regardless, the
Vols did what they needed to do tonight, and what they should always do in games
like this, which is win by more than three touchdowns and hold the opposition
to less than 240 yards of offense.
They’re 4-5 now,
and only need to win two of their final three to go to a bowl game for the
first time since 2016. If they play like they did against South Carolina last
week, they could win all three. None of their remaining opponents are scary. But if the offense is a clunky as it was this week
the rest of the season, that Vanderbilt game in Knoxville could be a must-win. Let’s
hope they figure it out.
The first Saturday in
November brings us Week 10 of the college football season, and frankly, it might be the
weakest on paper schedule we’ve had all year. You know it’s bad when ABC’s Saturday
Night Game is SMU at Memphis. The "famed" Big Noon Kickoff on Fox is terrible
Nebraska at crappy Purdue. Scott Frost, the most handsome man in college
football, is the only thing that will keep that game from being the ugliest thing
to ever appear on television. Florida State-Miami is on Saturday, which would’ve
been a great game… if this was 2000.
It’s basically up to Georgia
and Florida to save the weekend, though their last five meetings have all been
decided by two touchdowns or more. Maybe that means we’re due for a classic?
Which brings us to
Tennessee…
UAB
at Tennessee
In the last three weeks, the Vols have a pretty good
showing at Alabama sandwiched between home conferences wins over Mississippi State
and South Carolina. The fanbase is all the way back in on this program. Jeremy Pruitt went on Paul Finebaum's show this week and got to yuck it up about
going to Gus’s to get fries for his pregnant wife. The pro Vol media has
declared that “Pruitt is going to make Tennessee great”, and there’s enthusiasm again around this program, levels that haven't been reached in Knoxville since the Dobbsnail Boot.
Which is why the Vols can’t
afford to lose this weekend. UAB is 6-1 and is having a nice year, but there’s
no way, at Tennessee, that you should get beat in the same year by Georgia
State and UAB. Pruitt has built up mountains of goodwill in the last month, but it
would be an absolute disaster for him personally if his team got beat on Saturday.
Hell, it would be an absolute disaster for everyone involved in the program if
this team didn’t make a bowl game for the third year in a row. You want to talk about jerking the rug out
from under the fan base? You want to see levels of vitriol that haven’t been
heaped on this program since Butch? Lose on Saturday.
Which is why I think there’s
a lot of pressure on Pruitt and this team tomorrow for a game that, under
normal circumstances, wouldn’t be super stressful. And again, UAB is a good football
team, particularly on the defensive side of the ball, where they allow the fewest
yards and fewest points per game in the entirety of Conference USA. Tennessee
isn’t just going to be able to show up on Saturday and move the ball at will.
They’re going to have to block like they did against South Carolina, and then
hope that the quarterback play is remotely close to what they got last week.
Both Jarrett Guarantano
and Brian Maurer have been cleared to play, but it does seem like JT Shrout
will get the start under center for the second consecutive Saturday as he took
the majority of the first team reps in practice this week. I suspect we’ll see
more of Jauan Jennings in the wildcat tomorrow as well. Maybe he’ll even throw
a pass or two, or at least one that doesn’t get called back (like his completion
to Marquez Callaway last week).
Darrell Taylor seems
ready to play according to Pruitt, which should help the defense on their quest
to bottle up UAB’s offense. The Blazers are in the middle of the pack in their
conference in most of the offensive metrics, and if Tennessee brings the same
defensive intensity that they showed in October, they shouldn’t have much trouble
with a UAB attack that isn’t special.
Pruitt’s reputation
rebound the last couple of weeks isn’t that surprising, because like I’ve said in
this space a million times, the only real thing that fans care about is winning.
Signing recruits, being wacky and funny in a press conference, and throwing out
catch phrases and platitudes is fine, but that stuff suddenly didn’t matter at all when Butch
Jones couldn’t win. Hell, fans don’t even care about the behavior of players
that much if the wins come. Vol fans were all in on Lane Kiffin because of his swagger
and the fact that they thought he could win games in the long term, even though
a ton of the guys he recruited to Tennessee didn’t end up graduating from the
university due to off field issues. Ohio State fans defended Urban Meyer last year
against credible accusations that he knew one of his assistants was
smacking his wife around, yet did nothing, because Urban won a hell of a lot of
games. For years and years Indiana enabled Bob Knight to be a miserable,
abusive a-hole who treated his players and members of the athletic department
like dogs because, you guessed it, he won a lot of games. This is the reality
of sports.
Pruitt got a heavy dose of hate in September when this team
started 1-3. Now everyone loves him because he beat Mississippi State and South
Carolina.
And you know what? I’m happy
they won those games. I am. Tennessee couldn’t win a single conference game two
years ago, and they hadn’t beaten the Gamecocks since 2015. But Pruitt’s legacy
and reputation in the coming years isn’t going to be decided by how he does against
South Carolina and Mississippi State, it’s going to be determined by how he performs
against Tennessee’s biggest rivals: Florida, Georgia, and Alabama. Those are
the teams he needs to beat with at least some regularity to get this program
back to where the Vol fans really want it to be. So far, he’s 0-6 against them and
has been outscored 255-84. What happens two years from now if he’s 0-12 or 1-11
against them? Is the fanbase going to still be over their skis about him? He
didn’t inherit the Vanderbilt program after all.
Prediction: Tennessee
Miami
at Florida State
A battle of the once
greats pits two coaches against each other who will both be assistants again by
2022.
The Hurricanes have been
in the ACC since 2004. In that time, they have zero conference championships,
1 Coastal Division Title, one New Years Six Bowl Game appearance, zero top ten
finishes in either poll, one ten win season, and seven seasons with six losses
or more. It would’ve been inconceivable to anyone back then that this would be how their
ACC resume would look through 15 years and counting. The Hurricane football
program is in such sorry shape that their no tradition basketball team actually
won the ACC before the football team did. Now they’ve got first
year coach Manny Diaz in charge of the program, and they’re
off to a roaring 4-4 start.
On the other side, we’ve got
Florida State, who won the national title in 2013 and went undefeated in the next regular season on their way to a berth in the inaugural college football playoff. The ‘Noles are now just 16-17 since 2017,
and a paltry 9-11 under second year coach Willie Taggart. Whatever momentum Jimbo Fisher
had going from 2010-2016 is gone, replaced by the lame as hell turnover
backpack energy that FSU smartly punted on before the year, the only good thing
Taggart has done during his tenure. Doak Campbell Stadium is half empty most Saturdays;
of course, do you blame them? Would you show up for your team if your coach was
replaced by the guy that took your order at McDonalds the day before?
Who makes it “back”
first? I guess Florida State is the odds on favorite, right? They have more
money, better facilities, the same access to the Florida talent that Miami has,
and significantly more recent success. They aren’t going to do it with Taggart
though.
The funny thing is that
both of these jobs are sleeping giants. The ACC sucks outside of
Clemson, so you basically have one really tough game a year and then a bunch of
cupcakes. There isn’t a school in the ACC outside of Clemson
that can reach the heights the Tigers have outside of these two (maybe you could
include Virginia Tech in this, but only maybe), and the good thing for Miami is
that they don’t even necessarily have to play Clemson every year until the ACC
Championship Game, since they’re in the opposite division. Both of these
programs really are just the right coach away from winning 10 games a year with
little to no resistance. Unfortunately for the Hurricanes, they’ve basically botched
every coaching hire since Butch Davis left after the 2000 season (Larry Coker
did win a national title, but that was with Davis’s players and he got run out
of town after the ’06 season due to the program deteriorating, and Mark Richt
might have worked out if he didn’t leave after only three seasons).I have about as much faith in Manny Diaz getting this thing turned
around as I did a girl in any girl agreeing to go on a date with me in high school.
In terms of the game Saturday,
hell, who knows? Does it even really matter? I guess this game means more to Taggart
since his seat is infinitely hotter, but at what point do the FSU fans start
rooting against their own team every week so they can get a new coach sooner? Honestly,
this has probably already started to happen.
Prediction: Miami (I
guess?)
#15
SMU at #24 Memphis
I’ll tell ya what, this
is the game we’ve all been waiting for! I don’t know about you, but I’ll definitely
be bouncing the grandkids on my knee telling them about the time Chris Fowler
and Kirk Herbstreit came South for SMU and Memphis!
Again, this is the ABC Saturday
Night Game. If you’re not a Tennessee fan, this would be the perfect night to turn college football off and take your wife/girlfriend to a movie or
on a date or pumpkin patch picking or whatever the hell she wants to do. Then
you can say, “Listen babe, I know I’m a dirtbag husband/boyfriend because I ignore
you every Saturday during the fall and watch football, but I love you so much that
I decided to give you one of my precious Saturdays. It’s all about you and me babe!
Please don’t divorce me!” Of course, she doesn’t know it’s a crap slate that you
don’t care about anyway, and now she thinks you’re a great guy, and
maybe she even decides not to call that divorce lawyer on Monday morning. If
you are a Tennessee fan, don’t worry, because the early slate isn’t that great
either, so you can do all the stuff I just mentioned in the early part of the
afternoon. Just make sure you’re in front of a TV for Georgia-Florida at 3:30.
Prediction: Memphis
#9
Utah at Washington
#7
Oregon at USC
The Pac 12’s playoff
hopes could die this weekend, as their only two remaining shots at the playoff,
Utah and Oregon, both go on the road.
For the Ducks to have a shot making the playoff, they’d have to do something that’s never been
done in the history of college football, which is win every game in a nine game
conference schedule AND THEN also win their conference championship game.
Is this
the place they trip up? Maybe. I haven’t been super impressed with either Oregon
or their quarterback Justin Herbert this season, and they very easily could’ve
lost to an average Washington State team at home last week. Of course, if you
thought I was cruel to Willie Taggart earlier, that was tame compared to
everything I’ve written about traveling tube sock salesman /7 Eleven bathroom
attendant Clay Helton.
To be fair to the Trojans
and Helton, they are undefeated at home, and they even beat Utah in LA earlier
in the season. USC definitely has the talent to win on Saturday, because again,
I don’t think this is a great Oregon team, and frankly USC probably has better overall
talent, which makes it even more mind-boggling that the Trojans have been this mediocre with Helton in charge.
I’m in a tough spot here
because I’m not sold on Oregon, and yet, picking against Clay Helton and not
believing in him (with good reason) have been my thing ever since he took the
job. I gotta stay on brand here right?
Now, the other game. Utah has zero wins against
teams that are currently ranked, and their best victory of the season came against
an Arizona State team that now has three losses. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t
think Washington is good either; they’re a three loss team in a Pac 12 that
doesn’t have any elite teams.
The Utes best shot on Saturday is the fact that they’re taking their number 1 ranked scoring and yards allowed
Pac 12 defense on the road against this Washington team that is in the middle
of the pack in the conference in passing and yards per game, despite having an “NFL”
quarterback in Jacob Eason. Utah has given up 20 points or more only once this season,
and have allowed 20 points total in the four games since USC lit them up for 30 on
September 20th.
I think USC has a better
chance to win than Washington does, but come on, I can’t take shots (fairly) at
Clay Helton for years and then turn around and pick him to win a game that would
help greatly in him keeping the job he never should’ve had in the first
place. We’re taking both favorites!
Prediction: Oregon, Utah
Side note: On my Monday
wrap up, I referred to USC, aka Southern Califorina, as “South California”. I went
back and corrected it because I want to have as few errors in this thing as
possible. Just a simple typo, or so I thought.
Of course, the only
reason I even realized I did that was because my “loving” father texted me to
tell me I was a “dumbass” for the error, and even though it’s now Friday, I’m
still hearing about it. I shouldn’t be shocked by this, because my
Old Man is the king of beating the living hell out of each and every joke he
thinks is funny. It’s been almost two years and he’s still ranting and raving
about how funny Larry Culpepper was and how we need him back to save the
college football playoff commercials. I know, he’s an idiot.
Obviously his old, fat,
Cheeto stained person was offended to its core that I left out three letters,
and since it’s that big of a deal to him, it MUST be that big of a deal to some
of the readers. I’m sorry folks. Don’t worry, I’ll fire myself.
#8
Georgia vs #6 Florida (in Jacksonville)
The game of the weekend also
brings us our “Bet the Mortgage Pick of the Week”. But I’m throwing a curve
ball this time around… because we’re not betting the point spread! The over/under
is 44.5, and we’re, without question, taking the under. I know I know, we’ve
revolutionized the “Bet the Mortgage Pick of the Week”. It was always headed
this way.
I’m saying to take the
under because this game is going to be very reminiscent of the 2012 Cocktail
Party, when the ‘Dawgs knocked off the Gators in a low scoring slog 17-9,
thanks to a late Jordan Reed fumble in the redzone.
Georgia is the top ranked
rush offense in the SEC, but they can’t throw it with any consistency. Florida
is the exact opposite; they’re 3rd in the league in passing, but
rank in the bottom 4 in rushing.
The spot where both teams
shine is on the other side of the ball; Georgia is the top ranked defense in the SEC in both yards
and points per game, while Florida comes in 5th and 3rd,
respectively. Both teams have struggled to score at times, and I think the Gators
will load up 8 or 9 guys in the box every play and dare Jake Fromm
to throw over the top of them. Of course, with their speed in the back end, it’s
not like they won’t be able to cover back there if he does. Georgia’s defense is
ferocious, and I can assure you that they aren’t afraid of Kyle Trask, which to
be fair, I’m not sure anyone is really afraid of Kyle Trask. I mean, I doubt Kirby
Smart snapped awake this week in the middle of the night, sweating profusely while thinking to himself, “Damn! What the hell are we
going to do against Trask? That guy… damn!”
Florida’s defense is
going to keep them in this one, but I just have no confidence in their ability
to move the football against the Bulldog defense with any consistency. Georgia
has allowed 20 points only once, against South Carolina, and seven of the points
came on a Jake Fromm pick six. Fromm doesn’t have to be Joe Burrow tomorrow for
the ‘Dawgs to win, he just can’t throw three interceptions like he did against the
Gamecocks.
I like Georgia here by a
field goal, which I guess means I’m “Betting the Mortgage” on Florida +6.5.
That one’s for free guys.
Prediction: Georgia
Enjoy football tomorrow,
you deserve it. Or hell, enjoy the pumpkin patch picking that you don’t want to
do because your wife/girlfriend drags you to it. Don’t get divorced fellas!
